speaker 1:  this call may be recorded press one to accept hello hey Mommy hi I'm sorry I called you Mommy I didn't remember until after I got it my mom wants or is going to have me come up to Maryland for my birthday over the weekend so I was thinking about seeing the children tomorrow evening for dinner and that was an our normal routine to check to make sure that with the okay with you before I schedule anything I mean yeah yeah that's good with you that's your choice on your choices I know I mean I would like to see them okay okay for you but it's it's more than 24 hours from now but having me dictate micro decisions to you is not really I was trying to say well you know that I want to be 24 hours in advance and I don't think either one of us are under any illusion that ma'am something that you have respected or that you're a safe person for me to actually express my needs and what makes me feel safe and comfortable because you'll utilize that to disparage me to other people so you can make decisions about how you spend your time and you can own I'm literally calling you to make sure that that doesn't interfere with anything that you have planned not to disparage you one says it's not going to be before 1:52 p.m. so all right hope you're having a good day I've looked and see a side and I can't find that drill did you look around the house for it I did I took your office not in there
speaker 2: that's so weird well I
speaker 1: haven't taken everything out of my truck but I just can't see how it could be in here that's the ones to be a family want you to be happy I need this it doesn't sound like you recognize that you chose this I'm going to have I'm going to have my I'm about to go to counseling I'm going to have him look over the letter that I sent you for our anniversary and a phone number that you didn't like yeah I'd really like to get that to not show it to him I'm doing everything I can to get counseling and I okay
speaker 2: would you like to
speaker 1: tell me some alternate things to tell him instead of that I have no idea what you're working on Dustin it sounds like you're trying to get people to help you be more manipulative to trick me into going back into a really destructive relationship with you. I don't I don't really understand why I would eight I don't really understand why I would trade in about that I don't
speaker 2: don't
speaker 1: want that okay I don't really like the position that you're putting the in and I don't really like playing along with the imaginary scenario that it's my responsibility to fix you like you you did what you've done and I am about to like we actually have phone recordings of the explaining to you things wrong with that letter with you listen to those phone recordings you'll hear yourself I don't know which when we had the phone conversations I know but you're the one who already have the conversation with me so you can't blame me for that same thing and having an argument was just hired you're saying that you need me to explain what's wrong with the letter but that is like ridiculously ridiculously ignoring the hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of my life literally been Stripped Away From Me and literally been Stripped Away from my kids having a mother involved with them and paying attention to them and instead to having arguments with you when I didn't even argue with you because you use this excuse of trying to convince me that if I'll only tell you what's wrong with the letter then we can be the happy family that's not what happened you tricked me into telling you what was wrong with the letter and then you interrupted me and then you minimize behavior and then you blame me for the behavior and then you denied the behavior we talked in circles it's this is not a matter of you needing me to tell you what's wrong with the letter driving this morning but I have that recording wasn't clear to me what the actual problem was so of trying to find the rep I hope that helps I guess I don't think I don't think that I don't think that giving him is going to be helpful in him understanding anything about our relationship because our relationship over the last nine months doesn't reflect our relationship were the last Seventeen years in any way the way I speak to you is not reflective of who I am and how I do the relationships with people the way that I interact with you is not a healthy way to interact with a Lexus one so the way I interact with you is the wage is interact with they are fleeing from destruction and you're both saying instantly because you already have a recording like I just said I would use the recording now you're saying the recordings not helpful I am I'm saying if you if you for yourself want to know for yourself what destructive things you yourself have done like the whole thing honestly right then you're going to be the one you're not you're acting like somebody else has to be an arbitrator I don't understand why you say the things that you say I don't have to sign a recording is okay by me so I would like somebody to help me understand and I have extremely different systems in the fans choice to make it all make sense and I'm not sure you're not you're trying extremely hard to let everybody see how Noble and wonderful and watching you are but that's not the same as everything I can do Thursday the truth the people as best as I know it and the best way that I know to do that is your documentary evidence which we have the emails and texts and phone calls since you don't want to participate at all I not doing anything to manipulate the truth these are these are things that happen that recorded So you say that I'm waiting it you're trying to delete like my reality is not right. What I'm saying is that you cannot you cannot leave Seventeen years out of office leaving in a relational Dynamics the relational Dynamics between you and I are an old word are what they were up until last July everything since last July has zero to do with our marriage or relationship or what we need to work on everything since last July is me trying to flee from the destruction of the previous Seventeen years so you can't you can't take anything out and last year's it wasn't about since June so it's I know but it was a warranty I got to send an honest okay so you know like you just so you know I have them happy every moment since I last saw you and this phone call has been completely miserable for me I do not like the way that you put things on me that are on you I haven't done anything wrong I have a never been dishonest with you I haven't ever unfaithful to you I haven't ever been unloving to you like I have only lived to some you and your selfish interests and it is really really sad when you put things on me like they're my responsibility or my fault kind of this is Jeff need to do anything if if I said I would take your voice heard in this so that I can understand you better not expect it to me I don't see that going to account space but I can't so it's not imagine it's not a magic for one second that you actually are not making it seem you're not making it seem as so you can't see what the problem has been and you see me to articulate with the problem has been dead like that's what you're saying is that you need somebody to help you see what you can't see and you alone can't show the whole story to your counselor and your account page they don't show anything from my counselor I want so bad for this toward between us and I love you and I am late and I got to go and my boss called me that makes me so I don't I mean how many times can I have the name I was not present in our home I did not you know put your needs see it is not at all how long before you damaging that's not what you said to me before and I speak to me that I have said that to you before Outlet off the main problem was that I was absent so that was the main problem that I worked too much he did all right I I'm clearly upsetting and I don't want to do that and I have to go anyway is there something I can do for you please don't call me anymore I know but I told you do not do that. Thank you know that you could have told me to go look at it with the kids so I wanted to check in and make sure that wasn't going to affect your plan because I do care about it when I'm home. W w do 7 days notice like smoked you last September would be reasonable last October was invincible I didn't understand what you said if if you actually actually actually actually care about not messing up my schedule you actually truly wanted to respect the flag and show courtesy then like I said if you truly genuinely cared about me and wanted to show courtesy to be it's going to mess up my schedule that you would be doing what you do is Tober what I said there should be seven days that they've noted for requesting with the kids to give them something. I don't remember that number to a 24-hour you said that that would be acceptable but were still fifty-fifty over night time. Well but under the situation of overnight with me that would prevent you from being able to spend time with your children extemporaneous so that's the truth I would like to have a relationship with our kids to talk about that to try to stop you from having a relationship with them that you having any effect relationship with her kids are absent from our house from my house and I have to schedule everything with them instead of days in advance it's not a relationship is a relationship that's not true it is relation chip it's just a little bit when you don't like anything to be into it for you you like to have a relationship if you could you trying to lie to me and say that if something scheduled seven days in advance then that means it's not a relationship and it's true if you take it you feel bad and you're putting things on me that aren't my fault of my responsibility to see if it's not broken because of me the fact that you can't live in the same house as your life is a few and the fact that you can't live in the same house is your children just on you if you want to take that and you can sit around today can be looked at for saying we need to have our schedules planned in advance doing that to be controlling of doing that because I know what that's for children and it's good for children to have the ability of of knowing you're completely disregarding the fact that you have a life with the filter and that is a hundred percent predictable you're only you putting that requirement that scenario off on me and the only rationale is that he is against it doesn't get scheduled 7 Days of the VIN took the kids and Wednesday are with you activities that you engage in during that time are just as flexible and that's completely different or whether they're like that that's not that's not crazy it doesn't stop you from having a relationship with them it's just a common courtesy that you should feel like you need to do because you've been such a way that you can't remember the same roof that says that is a decision that you've made wage you made I saw you medic it continues to make it no I do that but I got to go alternative is that smokers is dead you want to what's the alternative I don't understand you to be treated that way you have to feel this way that I'm feeling right now from what I understand what I've done to you this way right now I called it asked if it would be convenient for you for me to see the kids tomorrow evening for dinner cuz we don't normally issue that disrespectful or Pleasant or so that you were going to start talking about the letter that you sent me on our anniversary which severely distorted. What's the sordid so is it that's why I brought it up you say that it's recorded how could you possibly talk to anymore to whitewash physical abuse and psychological abuse and financial abuse and emotional issues and sexual abuse what you did is not letter like how heading to the history of the world do 4 to take it a fuser like I said they genuine great wage husband who love for you to provide some details about I please stop. You're the one making the claim number you can call a choice to express the truth to you that I've done this and I've done this like please show me documentary evidence of anything like to say about the okay what was your brake can't hold it that I don't understand how it's everything too much does what I'm talking about being able to give it to a therapist say well it should be if you're breaking through these phone calls he's not a therapist he's just an arbitrator am I don't need you to come through this phone call. I'm going to get it won't talk to represent those are you really hurting me I can't hook from me being the one who's responsible for the fact that this is not getting better like please dead I don't want to hurt you too clearly upset to be responsible for what you telling me that you're going to get all better psychologically it's asking for details about what you're claiming that I can at least talk about it at the time maybe I'm totally nuts and that never gets any better off but I'm saying I would like to tell them your side of the store. It's not in my face because you pretending you don't know ten other people you could tell the counselor just by your pathetic that you have to come to me an image right that they have no actual things that they have concerns about to share so I think I got one out of CA which was the Easter shredding screen off both societies that point I can't understand I gotta go both of them with you exactly but I'm not doing exactly what you want me to do you're not doing what I want you to do right now is just it's it's called life they I manipulated you I was just think that I have the potential that it has a happy family and godly home I would tell my side of the story that was password just like last time I talked to you and a counselor like it was I know it was dead they because clearly talk than that you were terrible to talk that you talked at your table did you talk to it was terrible I remember talking very much I don't know what this devise it accused me of something else so we talked to you that you would take literal half second and make that what the whole thing was about the rest of birth Tim saying why don't you guys get divorced you're ignoring where you tried to say that it was all my fault that you didn't get destroyed them because I went back over the grief it like that was awful I should have had this been through that that was awful I'm sorry where you told me if you told him that if it's more like fried it's your business if you were going to kill yourself and it had stuff like you would be at the kids what what are you talking about you told me that it was your decision she wanted to kill yourself okay well you can do about it like I should not have to sit through that nobody should have to sit through that wage should be free of all of this I should not be having any colors that we have the leather 20 stop be to have to be back in a conversation with you on the phone or canceling said to or conversation with you with person like you have to do anything here and if you if you ever want to share your opinion with a professional counselor I have been always willing to offer that I've been trying for months to be extremely helpful to me I think it would be extremely helpful to you nobody's there is no coercion involved you don't have to do anything I don't think that you should talk that way to be because that feels pretty cool versus like to say that it's your decision and nobody can I ask for you to say that you've been trying for 4 months to get me to tell myself than that if it's not set it off you said 4:00 you said for books without the you for both okay but like you leaving at a part about how I try to try to try to got victimized every time I didn't even have the money to charity gets creepy that I made both multiple phone calls to voicemail and what day you leaving out the part where you got to send them nothing to do with me that's that's your interaction with Nathan and they recognize that when I do this thing that you're trying to get this deal would be helpful I asked her what victimized by it I don't want to have to go through having that been about me and not be able to but you're not in the office right now for my honors you're not all the time that's not true I do you can you can to try to act like you have to go back to try to get involved if you're there being and I saw however through like that's pretty coercive because you're shaping be for them and it would be helpful to know things to do you haven't done it so you have it you called racing and we're silence God that's not true I'm 20 minutes into my life I'm going to go get therapy I hope after this phone call you return to being happy I want you to be happy unless you really care about my schedule the schedule 7 days in advance and if you don't really care about my schedules changing all the time with seven days or 24 hours to 48 hours now it's 7 Days, originally I told you seven days not realizing that's what you intended to take time. With the children and use it to make me look like I'm trying to be vindictive or punishing I had no idea that that was covered down the pie get these you have no legitimate concerns about wage that's a like you to not hold the Eddy for life I'd really like you to talk to a therapist it's just it's a problem as me why don't you have some alone like I would like somebody to get your opinion yes I do I'm asking you to talk to a therapist responsibility like nothing is your responsibility there's no discussion about responsibility and asking you and telling you it is my desire to have you talk to the therapist will also work with me so that we can try and figure some of this out okay what about you has to be like that includes everything sounds cursive to you Aaron everything sounds good to you I've seen that you have to do something that what you say everything to you unquote that you are being the truck roll over dead something that in my opinion would be helpful that we have the prize. Call the quote we're referring to right now is closed everything is controlled to you areas but rather than all the other phone calls let's do how you describe previous interaction I'm telling you that what you say Thursday I do felt the everything is controlling to you you're not talking any more about the behavior that we were just discussing you just changed the subject is dead you just asked me to question but I reality on the basis of there something wrong with me that just makes me sick stuff controlling