speaker 1: 
speaker 2: this call may be recorded press one to accept hello hey hi how you doing today terrible because I'm desperate to save our family and that's not going to work and because my mom called everybody underneath fun to tell them that I might be dead did you talk to your mom today no okay well can can you see what you did to cause your mom to do that yes did you see the text I sent here unfortunately jaynie texted to which means from now until forever it was my mom's fault I called Jamie and I don't think Jamie was going to do anything but then my mom who had texted me to say that she was going to text your mom to tell her that you were okay because she wasn't feeling right about not you know doing that and she was thinking about how she feels when she was worried about Jeremy can't get in touch with him and just concerned that there's a chance that you and I will reconcile some day and then things she'll feel awkward about her relationship with your mom and so so anyways I called her and I told her she's definitely it was definitely not okay for her to do that but that was your place and I told her that guilt things that she was feeling by your mother's designed and that your brother goes that other mothers will feel for her if she said she's worried about you and I told Mom if she needed help processing the guilt that was being put on her that the other people who could help process that a dog
speaker 1: you
speaker 2: can certainly get counsel to help her process but you know that Christine's making her feel guilty about things that aren't really hurt us feel guilty about but I I do think that you can talk to draw be kind of understand some of those down to type Dynamics pretty well and she said no no I'm okay I'm okay and took off the phone when she texted back and the local time Dad's not she talked to my dad my dad you know Dad obviously thought that was just saying that it's not okay to just not respond and somebody thinks that somebody is committed suicide and they reached out to you to try to find out if that person's okay with that person said okay it's really not right to just leave them were eating just to make a point so mom decided that the best thing to do would be for her to call Janie because I guess she would have a better idea of what you should do or or could help her process why she didn't need to call your you know your mom so of course she gets Janie all with dots talking about this isn't my nature and I just having trouble with this and it's not my nature and I just wish so your mom thought Jamie. This is causing freaking way too much Havoc she's bothering Erin she's bothering change the spot of the cat and he was asking for their phone number after the general phone number and she thought I'm just going to I'm just going to send her one message so that it's done and in my message I'm going to include that she doesn't need to worry about checking up on just in everyday life because we live with him and we when we go to bed at night we always have some idea of where he is he's going to see more unit that's the appropriate people mm I don't know how she worded it exactly but but essentially that you know that you're always safe and people who always know where you are and that is going forward it would be fine. So we're you to just plan on checking I mean she doesn't actually do that and then she doesn't need the money for that but to somebody in Maryland me to nobody needs to this point was that she needs to be the person who's day today today today today checking to make sure you're alive so anyway she said you know we we always have an idea of when investing in and fine and you can check in with you once a week and so of course your mom responded with oh this is all very strange I don't understand this once a week that's and I have always had a very close relationship and we've always talked on the phone at least every couple of days I thought I don't know where this is coming from are you telling me that you have actually seen him with your owners have you talked to her this morning and Jamie's just said yes and then your I think your mom sends out a message saying well this is just very strange I don't understand any of this so the the problem is that now no matter how well you said a communication boundary with your mom for the rest of the ten years from now or twenty years from now it's always going to either be attributed to me interfering with your relationship with your mom interpreted that it was Jamie who who interfered with your relationship with your mom which which is you know like how it always you said boundaries with your mom receiving gifts from her like she's always going to that you never would have done that on your own at your wife poisoned you did it accept gifts from her however what's important for you in this whole journey that you're on just been a piece and all of that is for you to fully understand what you should get two cars this for everybody today and to fully think about what behaviors you've done relative to your phone calls with your mom over the last couple of months that made it not okay for you to judge decide last night that because you were with me you were going to showboat for me and try to impress you with how you didn't answer or calls but that's something that you've been doing let's try for a lot of people sorry okay I don't know runs or turns on all the time now I'm talking about yes I forgot to fix it I'm sorry yeah I want you to kind of understand what this does for me that I will have to come in and do something with this launcher which had been functioning just fine I'm not with a dishwasher that doesn't function just fine and then I have to do something to the toilet which wasn't doing this before and now I need somebody to come in and fix the toilet and so I need you to understand that Nissan I just offered the common fix your toilet I canceled it but based on like the totality of of all the ways that you've deceived me and the past it's reasonable for the to be here and hear the toilet go on and to think gosh the dust and make it like that on purpose so that I would have to invite him back even if I'm not comfortable invited him back like that doesn't mean that I have trust issues that means that anything remotely like that so so if you're imagining that that doesn't make sense for me to be confused about that you're you're not in office today how your aggression in your dissection and your sins against me and your this prioritization has Google lasting effects on a relationship I'm sorry that you're nervous about that and I have it for you and then something to the threat what I'm nervous about is a good and healthy way for me to respond to somebody see really transgressing against me in ways you home so we don't need to mourn that I don't trust you to rejoice that I'm capable of recognizing and say situationships for me and you need to understand that there's not something wrong with me for that you need to understand that when you tell me that you don't have no idea where honeymoon video is dead have exceeded in here and you can even remember package it or unpacking it when we moved get you placed it strategically on the top shelf of a cabinet that you've recently installed it's not bad for me to question what knowledge you had of it when you were telling me that you have zero knowledge of it because that's a good question mark for me to keep a question mark because you have deceived me so many times because it's good for me to understand that you are not actually a trustworthy person if I have if I have anything wrong with my you know trust obviously the problem has been that I shouldn't have continued to trust you after the first time that would like to me because you were showing me your character you were showing me what kind of man you really are you showing me how much your integrity means to you and you were showing me what links and I kept you were willing to go to to deceive me about your sim problems in terms of me as a person I'm too trusting so I don't appreciate you telling you repeatedly that because you loved me so much you're legitimately scared that if I take reservation shipped to me and it would be a disaster sort of conflict because there's something wrong with my brain that makes me say people are wrong if they're not lying you need to recognize that with that certain when I said if you're not lying it's not because there's something wrong with me if the cuz there's something right back if that's how somebody should respond when they've been betrayed and it's possible that you have you on your end one hundred percent your head is 0% client that Hugh have irreparably broken trust song and you need to recognize that we serve a good and they rise guide who did this guidelines for how to live our lives so that we can have peace and so that we can know him know that we could have energy to serve him if he does allow for divorce when there's chronic adultery it could be because it's not actually possible to continue to have a one-flesh relationship with somebody else is against you in a way that makes true vulnerability and intimacy and Trust impossible going forward and obviously if this is something that's happened because you looked at pornography one States and is not something that happened because you had one level bear with another woman it's because I tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried on my end to rebuild a trusting relationship with you could return you've shown that you yes the effect of your sin how people respond to being sent against by you and acted like they were on their own just committed some Act of aggression against you like I did this horrible thing by faith 7 people what you've done I get this horrible thing by choosing to say that u r i i just it's horrible paying by filing for divorce like this horrible thing for putting our kids in a public school you don't you don't own any of his lies responsible reactions to your behavior as being caused by you not not a trustworthy person and I think it would be okay for you to look at our relationship and say am I have broken this my wife does not have any obligation to me she is free from this payment is she says Michael I think that you would be able to experience a lot more self worth if you're focusing your energies in your attention of things that we're going to be healthy for me and healthy for kids and I think that would be possible for people to see you agen that is good way and I think you could be successful at it what did you just say I think that it would be good for you emotionally you like a good for your self-worth a.m. for reservation chat with Christ it was just like ability to look toward the future with optimism if you off work. So energy in your attention and saving our marriage when saving our marriage is not in and of itself and honorable goal in the situation here and like if you go past the enormity of the damage that you've done then the very first response you would come to Thursday is that your wife deserves to be free from that and the very first conclusion that you would come to is that it's not good for her to have an expectation that she continued to be vulnerable to somebody who it would not be good for her soul or Thursday. Or something into vicious or for her being or for her emotions to ignore what is actually happened to her and Trust so much should not trust logically like if you could recognize them to push the have happened for me would not be a good thing for me then I think that you wouldn't be feeling like you're experiencing failure and you wouldn't be feeling like you are worthless or you can't do anything because you would recognize that you were put on this Earth for more than just forcing a woman to stay submitted to you at all costs you could use the translator to do anything you say you have only one roll on the Thursday like you had a bad day today because you weren't succeeding and you weren't seeing the past to succeed in restoring our marriage therefore we got a failure off that would allow you to show the sense of the spirit and those that would allow the children may benefit from there like that is not a home you just trying to convince me that we should get divorced the months not going to work with that it is up to me it's not saying that it's up to me that's not something I can control you but I'm still not saying that I'm saying that I'm concerned about your emotional well-being I'm concerned about what does either I'm not trying to control you being extremely important key off and I see you hurting and I hurt for you because I don't want you to be in pained and I want for you to have activism I work for b u r i e i want you to know who you are in Christ I want you to be able to see that your loving to me well and that I benefited from that love God I got a gasket bye