speaker 1:  this call may be recorded press one to accept hello hi how's it going good I just wanted to check in with you cuz I got that you went to your therapy appointment without me yesterday and I also didn't remember saying that I shouldn't get paid for it with paying for that
speaker 2: class
speaker 1: that's how we had said that I would go to therapy with you and I'm going to ask them to pay for the past like what you want since it's too much money so I this this just can't your healing can't be on me anymore so you're going to have to start thinking through how you want to take initiative and what tools and supports you've been offered the E you want to pursue and take advantage of for your change it's not going to work when you and I are not on the same page. Your participation I have no idea what you're asking I'm doing I'm doing everything on my end I always have and I always will and I don't need anybody to dictate to me how I go about getting help because I am in prayer and I am seeking out wise counsel and I am doing my own reading and I am that's kind of interesting I know so to say what you said on the same page so I don't have to alter my perspective to match your fantasy that's not the problem I have told you all the things that need to change in you and how you want to go about making those changes is on you I've got way out of my way to loads of research to help you find these opportunities I know that's not going to help so hey if you if you want to pursue all the psychological professionals that I have talked to insist that the only way for us to get help is to do a couples counseling against their judgment you wanted me to do your counselor that you've already been seeing which I agreed to against them but everything should be extraordinarily awful to me right now this is abusive and I don't deserve it I have done everything figured out if I could speak to me that way that's not okay it is abusive I don't deserve to have your junk blame shifted onto me you need healing that nothing that you need statement that I'm confused you see something that needs to stop you need to stop blaming me for the fact that money for as for years and years and years and years and years you've refused to take advantage of couples counseling that you you need to stop shifting that on to me took I pursued couples counseling on many occasions and I'm continuing to pursue a couple counseling now please stop putting that on me you're not doing couples counseling please don't speak to me that way we're being incredibly awful to me I have done in I mean I went yesterday like I'm proactive in getting your counselor you're being very rude to me Dustin I have not done anything wrong you have done a lot long I have been faithful to you you have been unfaithful to me I have pursued righteousness you have pursued sin like this is this is not my fault I am not doing something wrong you have got to stop I can can I help you hey I don't need help you need help you do and I have the wrong I have told you I'm sorry about what you're saying that everything that I do is wrong and you're saying that is true I have not seen any guys you said that I said that everything you do is wrong that is not true you're telling me a lie about myself and you're expecting me to believe that I say that everything doesn't does is wrong do not lie to them about myself allow me to know myself at the truth about myself which is that I only say think you are wrong when they're wrong and I'd ever say that God that's why psychological element of do is now it's it's not okay for you to tell me lies about me I'm not telling you lies about you you did you just you just said that I said that everything you do is wrong that's a lie I'm confused and I need to get back to work we're not going to couples counseling I told you yes about that but you don't need to be ugly to me just because I'm the one who's pursued that you have it I don't understand how you expect me to show up for the couples counseling that my mother paying for if I go into when is your next session that is not hard packed like I've done something wrong or that's not okay a normal loving husband says which next couple sessions okay when's the next you have been who rhythmically awful to me today the way that you speak to me is by manipulating me and trying to cause me to feel guilty and trying to make me feel as though I have done something wrong when I've done nothing wrong to shift attention away from the very very very real problems that you have Chief among them being blame-shifting say that about everything help you without psychological to me back please don't if if I'm telling you a very specific like extraordinary specific sinful behavior in you then we're talking about as extraordinary very specific very specific exact behavior in you that is thin that should grieve your heart because if you are in Christ you know that he does not enjoy seeing that in you and he wants you to repent of that very specific behavior and when you take these things for me with the problem very specific behavior instead of dealing with that I know but the right responses to deal with that on a specific I can't deal with this thing's it's Dustin it's it's not pretend for you to stop and go oh yes I was trying to make Aaron guilty for going to therapy yesterday without me you can stop and you trying to figure out what's going on so that I can respond appropriately but you can stop and think about make a decision about him $1,600 you can stop and think about the way you just worded that that you're trying to blame me for you not going what decision to make with c a funny you're trying to blame thee for something that's definite choice to anybody about I just need to know what the plan is to kind of ask you what the plan is you need to think about how you're saying it's 1800 possibility anybody can listen to the recording of this phone call and think that you were just calling to kindly ask me for advice on whether I think that you should do the man of Peace program 100% of 1 billion people listening to the recording of this phone call would be able to say oh yes he was blaming his life for not telling him what to do he was trying to make her feel like it's her responsibility estimate question. He's trying to make her feel like it's her responsibility to make decisions for her husband she's she's trying to make his wife's email like she's the one who has to choose you get pants healing I'm just saying you need to accept that that is send in you and you are engaging in it and it is destructive to your relationship that's not the same as same. How's it going I love you I did say that you I saw that you had therapy yesterday I hope that that was the construction hey did you schedule your next session to could I come to it okay what time and day is that awesome you know that I had like been really hesitant to do this set of pieces and I'm still feeling really uneasy about using that much of money if it's something that you know going to be fruitful could you just give me some reassurance before we spend that that you still think that it's a good idea because I'm because I'm really I'm really anxious about it and worried that I'm going to send his body and then you're going to say that I shouldn't have what do you think I should do you think I should like that would be loving that you were just really accusatory toward me I just don't deserve this way of not being clear on what we're doing I mean it was you understand that's not accusing you of anything it's asking a question about whether we should proceed with it going to be cigarette question but what I say to you I am I glad to say now that says that part of your healing journey I know that you know how I feel about it I've talked a lot about how I feel about it off and I've also told you that that the only path forward for us to have a relationship together this for you to come to terms with the simple ways that you treated me into it that it's been manipulative and controlling like wage week nothing else I need to to say in terms of giving you all the information about my heart that you need to know in order to get better but for you to act like you're going to say that if you're doing it because Aaron told you to so that 6 months down the road when I divorced you can say I did everything she told me too long and she has no right to complain about anything because I literally done everything she's told me to do you couldn't call me to totally when I do everything she tells me to do with it literally given up all control of my life to her to get the program even though I didn't see myself as being nice about it and mostly cuz she asked me to $1,600 of our friends learning when she turns around and divorces me anyways because I literally did everything she told me to do like you're not that's not okay if it's not okay to treat me that way it's not it's your decision if you want to see the sin in yourself and you want to repentance it but it's not okay to lie to me and say that I say that everything you do is wrong that's not okay it's manipulative for you to try to make me think that I'm a woman who says everything you do is wrong that is manipulative it is designed to make me feel guilty for pointing out real egregious specific harmful acts that you do it's not okay I got to get back to work did you hear what I said I think you have a very specific sense and I'm telling you it doesn't mean that it's accurate going to happen is like the freezing ever took may not speak to me that way and you decide in your heart that is wrong and manipulative if I'm telling you a specific behavior that you have done and how it is harmful and you believe that month specifically either a movie that you did not do or do you believe that the behavior is one that is righteous and godly then you should be able to say that to me in very clear terms the only drink a specific behavior that I'm referencing if you instead of instead of instead of speaking to how you have a dumbass specific behavior or instead of speaking to how that behavior is writing you want to change the subject and turn it around on me and make it into you the fact that I am just saying that everything you do is wrong then you're being manipulative say you're not speaking about that behavior when it's parents you told him the whole thing on its head and trying to make it into doing something wrong with the area of feels scared to tell you within because they are those that if she does that it's going to be turned around a little bit of a Chromebook bad and going to make her feel guilty for being a complainer you can't do that it's manipulative all right and what are you what are you feeling like you want to do at this point I don't want to talk about that the merger cover I wanted to know if I should have see a pay for it the class and I wanted to know if it was any intention of me going to couples counseling like we had said since June so do you think that you should have to pay for the class I will okay and so do you think that you should attend sessions with it do you I thought we were doing that and then you went without me so I'll post office to make it into I did something wrong by going to my therapy session that you did something wrong I thought that we said I thought that we said I thought that we said that's not the right way to be more clear we definitely send that's not the right way to go about this the right way to go about this is the next session would it be okay if I take it with you let me put that on my calendar right now and make it a priority to make sure that I don't have any work projects going on at that time that's the right way to go about it there is no I thought that what she said or we definitely said that I'm really confused because right without. Motto cash
speaker 2: you
speaker 1: don't speak to a life that way it's not okay about that it's not just an act like it was confusing for you to act like I did something wrong by going to a therapy session that's not anything wrong yeah I know but you're trying to imply that I did something wrong by not inviting you but the phone works both ways you could hook up using you could have called that I know it's confusing because you've never taken an initiative that makes that will not call me back I've called at least 10 times said that you were trying to find out private information about me that he's not even allowed to so there was no conversation to have but if you're trying to schedule a sense of fact of any private information whatsoever you were trying to ask him why he charged your credit card or debit card that would be I know but it's private information the fact that he had with me it's not a whatever Dustin it's not trying to act like you did something wrong by following the law like there was no answer to your question that you could have given you but if the question is can I schedule a session with you if that's completely different inquiry that it would be legal for him to respond to so yeah you could schedule a session with him if you wanted to and you also could pick up the phone and call me and ask when my next session is scheduled with him but if it's confusing for you that I said that we should do sessions with him together and then I had one with him alone the reason that's confusing is because you're not used to have to take initiative and now it's time for you to learn that in our relationship it's not all on me in our relationship you have responsibilities to work on things proactively to all right so when's the next session Wednesday April 22nd 12:30 that will be there I got to go to work through the vice president out here and I've been sitting in the car again and see I don't think you should speak to me that way what way as though your career is reflected upon or lie because I'm arguing with you I'm sorry but I have no I know but you should bring to set it that way that was really rude it is it for you to make you think that there's a negative effect on you because I argue with you make a decision to argue with me that your decision and the effect it has on you is on you I'd like to get that out of my office before I but my car back up from this project what part is it is it off radio well I guess tell me the time I don't understand what you tell me what do you think the microphone is I believe it's in a box in my office okay what kind of box I think it's the reason box the radio that in a cardboard box do you mean it's inside of a radio or do you mean it's inside of a box with a picture of a radio on it about what
speaker 2: I
speaker 1: know for a second when you say radio box do you mean like a radio if there's a radio and it's inside of the radio or do you mean a box with a picture of a radio on it a box with a picture of a radio off okay how big is the Box I don't know is it bigger than a shoebox Glenda minutes earlier in a different okay do you intend to do minute piece hello thank you hello. I think he's I'm bored I think he's also about hello I don't know can you hear me about whether I ought to I think he's concerned about whether you want to cuz that's all the matters it doesn't matter what I want you have to you have to run it in order to do it you have to want it your home or your self in order to get better not wanted in order to manipulate me or stop me from the velocity okay bye all right honey I got to go