speaker 1: 
speaker 2: this call may be recorded press one to accept hey hey I'm sorry that this conversation is difficult for you I'm not trying to hurt you or and typically you hello I really don't know I don't know what the password is I doing literally everything I know to do try and I'm willing to do this program that you'd like to Thursday do I'm seeing a psychologist all the psychologists that I've seen suggests that we be a couple therapy like the extent that the fact that you've uncovered and Honey Lake file we're going to Accurate didn't get feed my file they were just talking to me so I didn't know that they were inaccuracies in their thoughts understand the extent to which that means that none of the treatment they were giving you actually applies to your situation exactly what you need to appreciate do you need to appreciate that you're being treated as a victim of abuse I don't I don't know how much of their therapy would change based on those couple of differences and maybe obviously would change and so yes it had in the phone free an engineer any of that to be inaccurate unfold syrupy what I didn't engineer any of that to be inaccurate so that I would get unhelpful therapy it's not something that's going to therapy you need to appreciate that that's what actually happened and the way you just spoke to me about you being entitled to us doing shared parenting decisions was not okay on what basis and on the basis that when you are treating me poorly I am not obligated to speak to you let me sing that I am allowed to enroll my children in a school just like you are but you don't get you don't get to talk down to me about it you don't you think that you're entitled to all of this teamwork and you're not you're not that's a privilege that you definitely definitely do not deserve at this point you want your children move to Yulee Primary School you file an injunction vast vast what you deserve to have to do based on your choices that you've made in your life with how you want to treat women you deserve to have to file an injunction not expect your wife to be in the same room as you I've never said that I expect you to be in the same room as me so you thought that we needed to discuss the whatever and that's not that's not yeah that entitlement mentality is stay in control yeah it's not a basic entitlement if you're destined that's a privilege I'm so scared of you I'm so scared of you I'm so scared of you can I do to make you laugh and you definitely I don't know I don't know how you change your whole You've got to change your entitlement mentality month for sure you've got a you've got to end this quest to convince people that your wife's perceptions are wrong that's not okay that is not okay that's not okay you don't need to get a bunch of teamsters to help you with your gas lighting of me that's not the goal in your life is convince your wife that her perception yes you want this to all be about we just have different perceptions and we just need to cancel so that change but but here's the thing when your wife tells you one of her perception that's all that matters to you so if your wife's perception is that if your wife perception is that you're being inappropriate with Julie that's all that matters.. There is no goal of changing your wife's perception to be more like yours the problem isn't your wife's perception there the problem is more same selfish brain thinking that all you needed in this change your wife's perception so that you can still live your life however you want that's messed up your wife's perception is a good thing to be honored and revered and appreciated not a thing to warp at change and bend to your will and it is it is gas-lighting Dustin I'm just I'm just going to have to continue what but what were you going to say you're going to have to get any less I guess I'm just going to have to continue using that word so that you can learn to recognize it off that's not helping you recognize it because when but I feel like throughout I feel like I have recognized where I have okay I can't hear you I said throughout the situation I feel like I had identified several areas where I have clearly you know and I see other situations where we're not on the same page about that and I don't know how to bridge that Gap gaslighting you got settings is taking something that I know to be correct I think that yeah that's like a habitual way for you to approach a digital you have a habitual way of saying that everything that you say but that is something I will not allow you to speak to me that was done it interrupt you when you do that because because it is very manipulative and it is toxic to me to be treated that way that's not okay that's definitely that you won't do that anymore what time try that way about me bye-bye to me there's something that you don't like you said that it can you maybe never do that again because it had okay I think that I'm going to continue to get therapy no no no no I'm I'm referring specifically to you making blanket statements about Aaron I'm always taking everything that she thinks and make like can you stop with the everything statements about me sure because you're just asking me to believe lies about myself and you're just asking me to doubt my own perceptions a doubt whether I'm dealing honestly with her instead of speaking to the fact do you recognize that these things that you said that you've recognized over the last six months are things that you knew to begin with and just gave up trying to lie it out finally I don't know I mean it's not well that's important because that's what gaslighting does gaslighting when there's a very clear reality and you're denying it just because you pray that people will go along with your made-up version I think it's what was going on with me psychologically a lot more complex than and decided to send to the act on it like what I think that Vision was a lot more psychological you're cutting out you have a better microphone no it's the signal well you're calling at a psychological problem but it's a character problem and if if you're talking about related did you really that comes from over masturbation and overuse of pornography from a very young age I guess is exactly the point that I was making because I don't think that actually has that much to do with it let's see what your your brain is very very very very very warped when it comes to understanding appropriate masturbation and appropriate. Life and appropriate ways to deal with multiple thoughts you are you oh way way way way way off the map so far that you have no concept of what a man with a brain that has made better decisions in their formative years would think and do with stuff like that there's a character problem that you think it's okay to watch pornography there's a character prompt had nothing to do with pornography or even know I know sexual attraction really we had an emotional connection. That's a lie why are you still lying to me do I deserve to be backlit by you is that a healthy thing to hold on to another relationship right now and that way is that been working for you you are a liar Dustin you are a liar you did think about having sex with Julie you did think that you would like it you did think that she would like it why would you lie about that at this point I don't understand you like your mom that has nothing to do with you want me to actually believe you it's just you just want me to behave as though I believe you so that we can both pretend the same age and in your mind that makes it true so there's no point in saying things that are not true at this point something that wasn't true you're saying that you what you did was you deceived yourself so that you wouldn't have to deal with feelings of Shame and you deceived yourself to convince yourself that you were innocent is that what you're saying I don't know because that's what Aaron told you over and over you said you're deceiving yourself sin is deceptive that's how it works but this whole thing that you're hanging on to they'll be not allowing you to see your children different different different it's not any different than if it does it's not any different than the affair you had with Jewelry off just heard about my perception of your relationship with Julie the problem was not that you needed to change Aaron's perception so that Aaron would perceive your relationship with her being innocent and if Aaron perceived your relationship with Julie of being innocent then it would be innocent and okay that that was not the issue the issue was not terrorists perception but you wanted to convince Erin that it was just her perception you wanted to convince Aaron that you had done nothing wrong you wanted to Gaslight me into your fantasy world where you had an appropriate relationship with Julie that was gaslighting and it was not okay and it was harmful and it's the same thing with your self-conception regarding being the victim of not getting your kids enough it's the problem is not that I perceive that I was allowing you to see your kids and the problem is not that you just need to convince me that I wasn't allowed to see your kids that's not the actual problem right the actual problem is that I was doing everything that I could to state to you that you could see your kids anytime I wanted 24/7 without restrictions and I was putting way more energy into scheduling times for you to visit the most putting way more energy into messaging you repeatedly to ask you what time you plan to pick them up what time you plan to pick them up what time you plan to pick them up what time you plan to pick them up so I can put it on the calendar and you side skirting the question of what time you picking them up going into long things to shame me about not working together toward you having more time with the kids General like the actual problem is you wanting to make yourself into a victim there and that not being real and that being based on you never really really like fully being able to change the executive function of thinking through your work schedule and how you would actually get the kids to school and pick them up from school and you suck there's a lot of logistics I looked around I just saying that's an executive function problem never you've never actually had wage for we take responsibility for the districts of everyday life and a household when I was working full-time I did when I was working full-time I got the kids ready for school when I was working full-time I made sure that Lucy had her homework ready when I was working full-time I made sure I figured out where they were going for after college I was working full-time and make sure that I got off of work in time to pick them up when I said it would when I was working full-time I still had to do the grocery shopping when I was working full-time I still had to have been around when I was working full-time I still did the laundry for a family of five when I was working full-time I was still the one who did the housekeeping when I was working full-time I still kept up with keeping the kids toy drum when when I was working full-time I still had to do one hundred percent of the turf of keeping a household running and thinking about childcare and Children's Welfare and everything and you never had a time where those paths had default to you so I don't think that you have a realistic sense of what actually came into being the person who's responsible for taking care of three children for 7 days straight without your wife telling you what's going to happen next or how it's going to be taken care of and I did receive a lot of messages from you that made it sound like you had some expectation that I was going to swoop in and tell you you know that Simon was going to be or whatever but you never actually took the proactive step to actually be actually able to actually care for your kids for seven days without my help that's not the same as your wife's not allowing you to and I asked if I could have them that you never would let me check. Hold on hold on hold on this conversation did you read all of our Our Family Wizard messages
speaker 1: so
speaker 2: okay so you're speaking to me right now from the same warped victimhood perception that you were speaking of during that time when you were delusional and you were not well your memory is based on your regular at least in my life what happens when you have time that I don't know about that I don't I don't know about that I mean I am the only person who does all the facts I am the only person who does all fat I'm just saying I specifically told you to go back and read those messages and it sounds and and why you would make a decision not to do that doesn't really make sense to me I would have thought that would have been a pretty big if I all ready for you to go home and read all those messages and figure out how you're smart intelligent grounded faithful wife could read those messages and everything else and looked through all of them and Come Away with the perception that she never prevented you from seeing your kids except for that time that had been on the schedule for a long time and she had told Janet she could buy tickets to the symphony but even that obviously was a weekend that you could have scheduled to have your kids if you just went in the calendar and just clicked on that day so that I would know to tell Janet know don't buy Symphony tickets which I would have been but I do I feel like it's the same as you saying that you didn't feed on me like you just have it in your mind that you were so innocent and your wife needs to change her perception of it and your wages the bad one and that doesn't necessarily match the reality of the fact that your wife told you could have the kids at any time at the fact that your wife was the one who was having to prove actively scheduled visitation for you and the fact that you didn't schedule your own visitation ever and the fact that you could have at this point I've gotten off of work to check them out and kept out had nothing to do with that app I asked you over and over again if I could have a good fifteen months I know but I didn't stop you wait I'm not the I'm not the judge who who gets to hand down in order of what the schedule is going to be I'm I haven't ever wanted to involve the courts in any of this I was trying to see what time they said when you said that the only time I said no was when you said that you wanted me to be the same here and obviously that was a terrible idea and obviously I had no obligation to do that for you but that doesn't mean that I get anything ever taken care of her children then changing the subject you're changing the subject that doesn't mean that I am good n u r I never did anything to prevent you from keeping the kids for a whole week at a time that's what you've got to get through your head is that at the time that you chose trying to involve the course. I didn't want to get in want to get involved with me to do you consent to me having a kid I did not need the consent I wasn't necessary you had as much right to pick them up from school every day of the week is I did okay well you didn't need anything from me you asked me to be there before and after care and I said no to that but if you had gotten before and after care from somebody else and if you had told me that you were going to have the kids for a full week the following week there was nothing stopping you not even me and I didn't even say no to that I didn't even have that opportunity to say no to that because you never even set it up as a proposal on the what hello what hello hello I gotta get going what I got my truck in any parents backyard I got to back it out of here and turn the lights off stuff so I wish that your actual goal was not to change my perception and I wish that your actual goal is to care about my perception please care about your perception I mean no you don't you just want to change it and convince me that it's some arbitrary thing that's not based in reality and that's not fair when my perception is spot-on you want to convince he a that this is a perception problem you want to convince your therapist but this is a white person you want everybody to say you want everybody else to say that you and your wise just need to get on the same page with a couple of Templar if that's going to be on the same page I think you are cheating on me I am I say I didn't say that I checked put the kids in public school so I put all my current and divorcing you I do care that just doesn't mean that it didn't happen it it does it doesn't mean that it happened sitting on the couch and you don't even know how to cancel that I don't understand when they could have been an opportunity for that to have happened I understand that but I don't know just because they happened and I remember happening between that I don't care no you don't you don't thankful is because you understand when you have a perception and you have a perception that your wife won't allow you to see your children and your wife has a perception that she would allow you to see your children any time you wanted who is the victim in that who is harmed it depends on who you believe no longer a Verizon of events was true and you were allowed to see the children any time you wanted would that be harmful to you would that be a bad thing would that be a problem no choice would be just a neutral normal situation but if it was true that I don't think that that's correct so no no no I'm I'm talking about if we both decided to go with my version of events right if if you and I said okay well let's let's operate as though she was allowing him to see his kids would there be any anybody who is harmed by that time would that be a bad situation no it's there's nothing there's nothing that's a neutral that's not there's nothing to it right but if if your perception is correct and your wife is not allowing to distribute children and keeping you from your children and blocking you from seeing your children and denying your top of your time with your children and taking children away from you like who is harmed in that scenario your wife is that's that's harmful to me for that to be the story that puts me in a vulnerable situation that puts me in an unsafe situation that gives you a lot of power over me hello huh it's harmful to me if I'm not allowed to see her kids that's harmful to me no if your wife is blocking you from seeing your children then your wife is doing something bad and Evil right yeah and your wife is the one that needs to be dealt with possibly by church discipline possibly by the judicial system your wife needs to be punished for that terrible Act she's the one who is in a vulnerable position if that narrative is believed by everybody that is harmful to your wife it puts you in a position of power and control over your life it gives you the ability to manipulate your wife if everybody believes that narrative but the narrative I was trying to push was not harmful to you it's simply understand you're talking about like this is some marketing campaign they it's not getting campaign it's abuse it's abusive it's a beautiful for you to stay that story tip your self to me to other people that is abusive it's not okay it's not that you're not a safe person to be in relationship with if you go back and read all of our messages from that time and you recognize that nothing actually prevented you from seeing your kids any moment of any day of any week of any month except for the time that I had tickets to the symphony because you failed to check the calendar and you fail to read the messages carefully and you filled to make sure things were on the same thing with the way you wanted them but you took it that around and made your wife some kind of terrible deceptive awful selfish woman for your negligence when you look at the actual situation where you made the one who was that proactive in scheduling anything for your kids or with your kids off but you got everybody to believe and to use your is there a I know but you didn't actually sign them up for before I know but you didn't actually sign them up for before and after care and I should have to have it happen every I did have them every other weekend I did have every right to give you that boundary that I was comfortable communicating with you in that way and it is really really sick for you right now in this moment to still have that entitlement mentality that you shouldn't have to be your wife's safety boundaries for communication that's that's not okay Dustin that that's not okay for you to feel that sense of entitlement you are not entitled to communicate with me whatsoever having a woman who's willing to put herself in the vulnerable position of having a phone conversation with you is a privilege having a woman who's willing to put herself in the vulnerable position of doing regular text messages with you is a privilege having a woman who's willing to put himself in the vulnerable position of having a face-to-face conversation with you without Witnesses present is a privilege you're not entitled to any of those things and it is really really really sad that you think that your wife is doing something aggressive or wrong to you by not making herself vulnerable in those ways you have a problem you have a problem with power and control if you think that you shouldn't have to use our family wizard you you dead we have a problem with power and control if you think that your wife is somehow obligated to put herself in vulnerable situations as using regular text messaging or regular phone calls or regular face-to-face conversation that that's a problem for you what what