speaker 1:  this call may be recorded press one to
speaker 2: accept this call may be
speaker 1: recorded hi
speaker 2: hi Mommy okay oh yeah yeah you hanging in there good little stressed out yeah I'm just calling and would you tell her gee what she's trying to figure out if she needs to extend my stay here again would you tell her older I didn't know supposed to be moving out on Saturday as it is now okay she wants me to come up there okay ready to go on a vacation what where they take one of my friends from here on a vacation with me what I know or state you're obviously if that's what I need and I don't know if it's
speaker 1: there a specific friend she was wanting to take no you think she was offering to bring a friend to make it appealing to
speaker 2: you I think it's just me and the
speaker 1: friend oh she wasn't going to go with
speaker 2: you I don't think so maybe Jeff would oh
speaker 1: okay so so she was thinking that if she's spending the money just so that you could have a little extra time to get your head clear maybe that is like she's thinking
speaker 2: that I don't think that would help but but do you
speaker 1: think that's what she's after
speaker 2: I think she just thinks that when I leave here I'm not going to be ready then oh to go back to
speaker 1: work but she was trying to get you to go to her house and she was you were just telling her know is that why she had to sweeten the deal with the
speaker 2: vacation probably okay I mean I told her then know that I could do that or something about going to Ralph's without what I told her I didn't know that I could do that when she said I needed to come up to her house oh but you trust her
speaker 1: cheap put something on your Facebook page
speaker 2: she put something on my Facebook
speaker 1: yeah it says my promise to my children as long as I live I'm your parent first your friends back in I will stalk you could live out on you lecture you drive you insane be your worst nightmare and hunt you down hunt you down like a bloodhound when needed because I
speaker 2: love you when you
speaker 1: went when you understand that I will know you are a responsible adult you will never find someone who loves praise cares and worries about you more than I do if you don't hate me once in your life I'm not doing my job properly and it says yep need to find right that's the name Madison
speaker 2: that's sick
speaker 1: I just need you to know I would never do that to any of my children it is extremely sick I mean she didn't write that she was reposting but still I don't see that and relate to it as a mom
speaker 2: at all me either
speaker 1: I would not do that to my children I wouldn't do that to them as two-year-old for 10 year olds
speaker 2: or thirty five year olds I agree with you what's that lovebirds Sam are you leaving oh man okay okay I won't stealing from you now then all right have a good evening guys sorry Mama
speaker 1: does it upset you that I said that about your mom though no okay we
speaker 2: have never not been on the same page about
speaker 1: here well I've always really tried to like defend her. Yeah and I've always tried to encourage you to see like her good parts and Overlook or bad parts and I feel weird about you know what I mean yeah it's always been easy for me to say how she's affecting my children cuz that's my job to like you know manage my children's relationships it's not really my place to
speaker 2: you know what I mean yeah
speaker 1: it's like to come between you and her that's not feeling comfortable about that but at the same time the way this money is all happening and the amount of power and control she's getting over you is just worries me for you no
speaker 2: sorry but I don't know I feel weird about this whole thing to but she's going to ask me if I need to stay here I don't know what the color
speaker 1: can you tell me what your Aftercare plan
speaker 2: is not really I mean I know that they've got me lined up with the therapist and psychiatrist or
speaker 1: whatever do you know them and
speaker 2: oh sweet yeah I don't know who it is it's not even a person it's just a place
speaker 1: okay if it is it is it Jacksonville or you lie for nadina
speaker 2: Jacksonville
speaker 1: okay both like the psychiatrist and
speaker 2: that they are yeah but Megan is the medicine one whatever that is here it says that she knows version of that at Baptist NASA that she really likes things like we get along with so I might do that
speaker 1: psychiatrist Fernandina
speaker 2: yeah okay
speaker 1: but then your therapist would still be in Jax correct and what's your therapist license I honestly have no idea okay and who's paying for the for that
speaker 2: but I don't know I kind of mom about it but she's taken they do like sliding scale stuff but I don't know how much it is but I would think a hundred bucks a week
speaker 1: would be you just guessing though you haven't been you haven't been given any information no and you're after care coordinator didn't do anything to verify that person they were getting within your price range
speaker 2: I guess not and how are you feeling terrible he's going to double my antidepressants in the morning oh wow
speaker 1: so you so you switch to the Prozac okay I
speaker 2: don't know I I can't yeah I'm getting get out of here and be okay I can't stay here forever okay I don't know what to do basically okay do you trust me yes
speaker 1: that's really hard for me to
speaker 2: understand and I guess when I say that I trust you as somebody who my wife doesn't want to be
speaker 1: what's I mean that's confusing to me because I would think that if you know me then your perception would be that I want to be your wife and as such I self sacrificially have your best interests at heart and I can see that I believing huh yeah I feel like you don't I feel like you don't believe that though when I file for divorce like you put up such a like finger-pointing about everything like everything's everybody else's fault you know what I mean like a lack of
speaker 2: a
speaker 1: lack of like the normal level of awareness that that your behavior
speaker 2: was know in psychological issues that what I'm choosing to trust you but what did you just say I said that I'm having severe emotional and psychological issues and I'm staying in a residence yeah they take care of me like a
speaker 1: baby I
speaker 2: think you I don't have any judgments or autonomy or anything remotely and capable of that
speaker 1: yeah yep
speaker 2: u r my wife I believe that God put us together and I believe that you believe in doing the right thing and I believe that I am incapable of yeah without I just enjoyed the person who was supposed to help me and I'm trusting that you will I don't yeah I
speaker 1: think I think maybe you're perceiving your emotional well I mean I guess that's not fair you probably know that you're problem started kind of a long time ago
speaker 2: right yes
speaker 1: like it's not really just that you're you're not able to plan ahead in terms of like where to live next week how to pay the bills it's like call last year when you were missing all those payments and paying all those late fees even though you had money in the bank like something's already off
speaker 2: I know that
speaker 1: but when people tried all right but when people were trying to help you you didn't have this sense of humility that you're claiming to have right now off and for some reason you've put up this like Counterattack against anyone who did try to help you you know what I mean
speaker 2: not trying to attack
speaker 1: anybody I know but have you have you ever stopped to try to imagine that you like actually did listen to other people's Council instead of waste energy trying to convince everybody that you did can you imagine what if you actually
speaker 2: did are you thinking that I don't have regrets about not
speaker 1: listening well yeah cuz like today I was able to tell you very clearly how you weren't respecting my communication boundaries when you start down that hallway that's that's not really something that's you know what I mean like to try to paint yourself in that scenario as respecting my communication boundaries you know is not reasonable it's not it's not rational there's not anybody who could look up or Communications from September through December and then say that it made sense for you to not message me through our family wizard and it made sense for you to make it where I could leave the nursery to get back to my seat so that you could use an angry tone of voice to accuse me of being with a man and demand to know who it was off like on a very objective level I know that you're capable I'm seeing that you were definitely not respecting communication boundaries right I'm sorry but you're still like able to put a lot of energy into twisting and manipulating the situation to have a twenty-minute argument over something that is just clear as day
speaker 2: and
speaker 1: that's that's like a for example that's not the only thing today on this Monday like that's not the only thing that you did that with there's plenty of things today where it was clear that you would not heating the Council of wise men and were instead doing things that were pretty destructive or abusive to your wife but you're wanting to argue that you did everything you were told and that somehow they're the dysfunctional ones with poor judgement so it's just really it's confusing for me cuz you're at this point where you can say like I know that there was something going on psychologically and emotionally you know way back before way back before
speaker 2: and
speaker 1: then you can see that like God put all these wise people in your life to really love on you and to say that we're willing to like financially support you going to be here for you willing to counsel you and we're willing to pull up this with you no matter what it looks like and then you ignored their advice and then you claimed you were following their advice when really you were manipulating it to your own ends on your own timetable and then you've figured out a way to slander all of them and devalue them and blame them it's just hard you know I remember like the conversation we had today like I was so confused what you were talking about Aaron was smirking at me and Allison was taking my children away and now that I've fought back and I remember that that was the day that you did something really scary to me in church we all didn't know if you're bringing the kids to missional community cuz you haven't communicated it but I was scared to ask you because your behavior was so erratic and I was just going well I don't know maybe he's going to wait and
speaker 2: always brought them the initial
speaker 1: I know but you were really erratic that day but anyways you got there I saw your truck pull up and Iran and I locked myself in the bathroom like that was my instinct to run and lock myself in the bathroom and that was a reasonable action based on your behavior that morning and so I would not be shocked if Allison's Instinct was to help the kids make that transition so that they wouldn't be confused about why mommy wasn't there and so that I wouldn't be forced to be in direct contact with you I mean that's reasonable loving maternal thing for a fellow Mama to do after seeing what I had been through that morning and if Aaron was there he his I I would not be shocked if his goal is to just make sure that you didn't come after me but I don't see why you should like represent the people that your church wasn't there for you when you were upset just because they love your wife and your kids enough to protect us those are the kind of people you want in your life those with kind of people you can lean
speaker 2: on I can tell you how many is continue to defer to you until it kills me yeah yeah cuz
speaker 1: the things I'm saying don't actually make sense to you
speaker 2: no they don't doesn't make sense to me that anybody in our church would think that I'm capable of hurting anyone ever
speaker 1: but you you're ignoring like the actual behaviors that you'd been
speaker 2: doing I'm not ignoring them
speaker 1: I mean yeah you are you're trying to you're trying to paint a picture of them as being irrational like they just came up with the idea that dangerous out of thin air
speaker 2: talking to you and I'm saying that I will defer to you the ends of the Earth until it kills
speaker 1: me yeah I know but it would also be helpful for your own
speaker 2: seeing a therapist is often as I can and they need to do it yeah don't know how do they lights down boards and that well
speaker 1: that's not true make you just showed me that you're capable of saying that you weren't respecting communication boundaries that means you are also capable of doing that earlier this
speaker 2: afternoon the communication boundary
speaker 1: I had said that I wasn't comfortable talking to you without a third party present that was back in September I had said that you should only communicate with me through our family wizard that was in
speaker 2: October and telephone bird now
speaker 1: know when you when I brought up that you would stock to me into the hallway I was trying to give context off to the events of that day that would have caused our church to be fearful of you and you went through a whole Litany of defensive tactics to try to twist the whole thing around on me for having not being in our kitchen like that's definitely blame-shifting definitely denying what you did wrong definitely making yourself seem more like the victim definitely changing the subject life
speaker 2: so does does recall making an issue about the man in our kitchen on our phone call
speaker 1: but you did you said honey you had abandoned kitchen and I told you like that doesn't make sense I said I told you that Ted might you know believe that about me because he doesn't know me but you know that anybody else
speaker 2: doesn't know about that
speaker 1: I know I'm just saying you I'm saying anybody who knows me would immediately like be able to look at you and see that if you have suspicions about me then you've clearly gone off the deep end that's you know what I mean by knowing Aaron dufo and thinking that Aaron dufo is getting involved with another man while she's still married to Dustin Du Bois like whoever you are if you actually know Aaron and you're thinking and feeling that then you have just gone off the deep end you are
speaker 2: cuckoo okay honey I guess that's what I'm trying to tell you I'm cuckoo and I will defer to you that's what you're asking of me and
speaker 1: agree okay what if what if this is my first order of business we need to fir to me is that I want you to defer to speak to Erin Bell
speaker 2: give me what tell me to ask your in Belle to find me an
speaker 1: apartment I'm seeing that if you're in texted you out of the blue a link to an apartment and said I think you should apply here then your response would be this is the person who understands my situation and loves me and has excellent judgment I'm going to apply there and then follow through and thank him is that something you could do without having to devalue
speaker 2: him sure
speaker 1: and with my second order of business would be for you to defer to see a great would you be able to cope with that let's see I told you something different than Aaron told you
speaker 2: which one do you want me to follow then
speaker 1: you would have to say I'm confused because they ain't gave me this other council could the three of us get together this week to kind of sort out with the best Papas it's something you think you could do
speaker 2: I will try how do I know if that's what you want what do you mean I
speaker 1: just told you
speaker 2: what was that what was that what what happened let me see what it was what makes you so is this after he was told not to do it anymore that's so sad you got a text that to me what is the patient's cotton alligator and yeah hold an alligator out of the pond with their bare hands yeah and then like senior medical director of the whole place came out in Psalm do it you didn't have a phone to take a pictures of the kid admitted he had his phone Gotta stick three bacon with the alligator got his phone taken
speaker 1: away was the guy want to take the picture cuz he was impressed or was he wanted to take the picture because he was mad and needed it for punitive
speaker 2: reasons cuz he's impressed G he also got those not touch the alligators anymore okay Florida ma'am from Montana actually no no I've never heard of that I'll still try and catch a scorpion funny guy you want me to have my mother have me see here what you want me to have me stay here
speaker 1: probably not know I
speaker 2: feel suicidal a lot you don't know yeah image that very well
speaker 1: well you're saying that and what you're saying is that you feel hopeless but you haven't been doing any like planning right I don't know
speaker 2: I
speaker 1: mean you do thing I don't know is a way that you've you know built a habit of flying over the years because it's easy to say I don't know
speaker 2: I guess by planning and that I went and talked to Neil Mountain talk to the kids and I told them how much I love them and I told them all their good qualities and I told them how important it was for them to look after each other and to serve God and I told them that I was very sick and very sad I recorded it all mhm keeping it on my phone for them no I don't know that I'm safe out at myself I wouldn't be here right now
speaker 1: right but you didn't actually have any method in mind to harm
speaker 2: yourself got like a hundred method 9 to hurt myself do you think so
speaker 1: so I'm assuming that the important thing is that you not be alone I don't know and that you know how to ask for help when you need it I don't know that didn't hear
speaker 2: what I don't know I don't know if that would help you don't know what would help knowing how to ask for help if I need it is not
speaker 1: I mean it just seems like you've shown that you can do
speaker 2: that and that's achieved not
speaker 1: too but you have I mean you can just make that choice
speaker 2: now don't think that's how it works honey I believe in you Ure
speaker 1: credibly capable of following through with what you say you'll do and you can say that when I need help I'm going to so the real
speaker 2: friend don't have any real
speaker 1: friends you have real friends
speaker 2: Dustin . You're assuming that I would be inclined to 1 Kevin yeah he'll have to be inclined to call Kevin
speaker 1: but you know he loves
speaker 2: you don't know that even if he does it doesn't mean that I'm going to call him unless you I would at any rate what you think I should leave here at the end of the week I mean what it said say I don't I don't know
speaker 1: okay I mean the only thing is
speaker 2: I think he's afraid to be prescriptive as if I kill myself and he'd be on him and I think that he'll say that you could justify wage weekly if I wanted to stay yeah I don't think you can go
speaker 1: right but realistically nope
speaker 2: right I don't know today it was seriously thinking they may have to commit me so she was yeah okay I don't know maybe they really won't let me go or maybe they'll send me to the hospital here yeah
speaker 1: well now the only weird thing though is you talk about doubling your dosage which I don't know if you were already on low dosage or if you're talking about taking like normal dosage and doubling it
speaker 2: so I think it's I think I was at the bottom of the okay this is not the top it's normal
speaker 1: okay something more normal so is there anything that you're
speaker 2: like observe me while I'm on that level and then is there anything you can double it again if you know you can add 20 20
speaker 1: sure but what is she with them what is she anticipating is going to happen from this next change I don't know probably open it won't kill myself I don't know
speaker 2: you to like each other you just tell her that I think so I think she thinks not but what
speaker 1: why do you say
speaker 2: that because he only gets like like talk to her like at the most 10 minutes at a time so it's not sure I
speaker 1: know but you said you say you would like my wife and she says I don't think so
speaker 2: no she didn't say that I just stupid the one that wants to take my phone away and
speaker 1: stuff oh okay I see what you're saying I see what you're saying like she she she perceives that I'm coughing your symptoms and she's trying to get your symptoms go away
speaker 2: yeah yeah but she
speaker 1: would like each other yeah yeah I get you
speaker 2: want to do you I tell you that
speaker 1: oh yeah I had forgot well I'd love to be her best friend but I'm not quite sure exactly how to cross that bridge
speaker 2: anyways I think Megan has the best of intentions but there's a little bit of a some contacts stuff but we changed your meds now it makes sense for me to stay here kind of thing going on
speaker 1: and you're out of pocket with all your expenses here right cuz you don't have like insurance or anything like that and is there a
speaker 2: generic Edison yeah that's what I meant okay just call me right now
speaker 1: feels like you have to answer because he's paying for your stay
speaker 2: yeah I just I just call them back but I am going to sure I should probably go soon just wage I
speaker 1: just hate that Dynamic
speaker 2: for you it's genuine I'm thankful for what he did this is his birthday
speaker 1: oh you know no I didn't mean that I mean it's good for you to look at your relationships and the people around you and evaluate them for what they are and who you can really trust not who has the most money or is giving you the most
speaker 2: money oh um for making any huh I don't value him and have to do that for me I
speaker 1: know I know I meant by letting cares about me down
speaker 2: lunch I know dude that is the truth
speaker 1: I didn't mean it like
speaker 2: that though
speaker 1: I met like your
speaker 2: mom I know Gmail do that
speaker 1: she's she will stock you lecture you and yeah I'm just saying you know there's a little bit of like an implied responsibility that you now have to her too give her all the updates and she feels like she has a right to tell you
speaker 2: to Jake you tell me all she wants but I've been pushing back yeah
speaker 1: that's pretty stressful I know
speaker 2: yeah Beyond
speaker 1: stressful my point like I don't know if that's the best place to be spending your energy right now. it's fighting with the people you don't trust like really think you should just lean into the people who you can trust you were saying you have to go cuz you have to call
speaker 2: Jeff well that but also it's my friends last day and he's sitting here not doing anything and I feel bad I feel like they should spend time with
speaker 1: them I don't know which one it
speaker 2: is all
speaker 1: right if I call you back can you answer
speaker 2: yeah I mean I'm going to call Jeff hear
speaker 1: you call him first
speaker 2: I'm going to call him now so
speaker 1: if I call you soon you might not
speaker 2: answer no but you back okay love you
speaker 1: all right bye