speaker 1:  this call may be recorded press one to accept I Got a notification
speaker 2: hello hi hi who are you talking to Lucy Brianna said that you asked about swimsuits yes I I didn't really say anything yesterday when you told me you were thinking about taking them swimming cuz it sounded like maybe you were reconsidering that off your time constraint but very scary extensive list of very legitimate reasons that that probably not a good parenting
speaker 1: decision kind of garbled say that
speaker 2: again I don't see that taking those children to a pool today is a good parenting decision can you elaborate on why I'm not comfortable with it they they haven't been in the water for a long time because of the YMCA being closed sounds like you're going somewhere that there aren't going to be multiple trained lifeguards sounds like they're going to be other adults presents which is an opportunity for a distraction but I honestly personally would not right now be taking my three kids to a pool without lifeguard or adequate like puddle jumpers Etc even if there weren't other adult distraction that's just not a good setting for swim word which is what they need to be doing is when learning with with one-on-one attention and you're right now like when we're in this kind of in-between phase where you don't seem to have any kind of real schedule for seeing the kids off and there's not a little more days like you don't have you're not living in the same house as them but you haven't really established you know kind of like what we had before where it was predictable for the children that they knew that they could expect you know to be with their daddy on this particular weekend or this particular evening you know by looking at calendar like everything's pretty up in the air for them and you're not thinking in terms of their psychological security of having predictable schedules or a table social settings or
speaker 1: predictable history of looking out for their psychological stability I
speaker 2: think that maybe today as a significant break from any pattern of that that you feel that you've established and I want
speaker 1: to take my children swimming with multiple adults presents when I have to do that all the time and have plans to do it that leaves you shared with me at the
speaker 2: Y at the YMCA with multiple trained lifeguards and one of the children in the nursery I think is is a safety-focused swim learning Endeavor that is different than than a recreational intention that they are not adequately prepared for I think that if you're real real real real real intention is right now that you're you know you're busy with work the busiest balls he's got a lot going on but it's important enough to you to set things aside on the weekends to spend time with your children if that's just really nice it's about for you then it would not be objectionable to you to agree that out of home care for me and care for doing whatever it takes to give me a sense of security that you just spend that time with them at McDonald's house dead I'm not being unreasonable all right I I'm
speaker 1: definitely taking taking them to Jacksonville we definitely already have plans for that I thought you didn't have those plans as of a week
speaker 2: ago this is
speaker 1: I don't take them coming if you really objectionable to that but can you told me that going to take a test today would you mind sharing with me what that's all
speaker 2: about
speaker 1: the the end of muscle that I can't understand
speaker 2: you
speaker 1: however so you're going to Tallahassee to take a test that I can't know
speaker 2: about required I don't have the children with me it up and it says it does not concern you and just try to change the
speaker 1: subject know I'm trying to find out where we stand because you're trying to dictate every aspect of what I get to do with my children and I'm trying to please you suck and there's like an
speaker 2: endless you just said that no matter what you're taking the children to Jacksonville you already have plans that that is not trying to please me when I just made a request that you spend time with them exclusively at the McDonald's home that that's not what you're doing please don't try to find it that way when that's not your objective and that's not your priority off your objectives and priorities like this is responding to an invitation your objective in your priority is to respond socially to a last-minute invitation
speaker 1: the first 24 hours which according to you is uh social normal thing that everybody understands even though you don't follow it
speaker 2: yourself off okay I'm telling you that I'm making a request that you spend your time with the children at the McDonald's to demonstrate to me and actually get priority and intention of focusing on your time with the children and if there's a need for you to go elsewhere or Draw other people into that lives socially then it's about something besides your quality time with your children and you can
speaker 1: go have fun safety concern that's legitimate off but I will do as you ask
speaker 2: hey are you going to stay at the McDonald's today I
speaker 1: guess you're making me look like a jerk
speaker 2: your it's just a question are you going to stay at McDonald's today well I have
speaker 1: a question this is all you're constructing this on this recorded phone call you didn't say anything about this yesterday, I know I started by changing plans to accommodate you
speaker 2: with in my recording an explanation that I did talk to you about it yesterday and you know the reason it wasn't recorded yesterday because my mobile device didn't allow me to use the left-hand toolbar that lets you access the bill. I sent signed last night and I spent time this morning trying to figure out how to feed more money into the system to record our phone calls so I don't want you to frame it as though I tried to set you up to make plans and then make you cancel them but are you are you looking like a jerk because somebody was depending on you for something or Thursday in your honor and I
speaker 1: don't even know what to say to you anymore you just yesterday on or unrecorded phone calls acted like I was a jerk because I wanted to spend time with my children a weekend and I didn't have exactly twenty four hours notice then you decided to drop them off with your parents but they couldn't do it so you changed your plans just ready to go along with a friend's house now because I had plans that I'm I got to cancel them it's it's it's a congruent and
speaker 2: illogical I that's not true logical if we told me that you're making all of your decisions right now on the basis of impressing Rodger and that's concerning I
speaker 1: have about 20 Watcher in pressing concern
speaker 2: interesting Rodger
speaker 1: Rodger
speaker 2: yeah you're you're trying to impress Rodger or you want to make sure
speaker 1: we have plans to have fun with our children
speaker 2: with Rogers children
speaker 1: with Rogers children with my children we were going to have fun okay multiple times to be able to do it and now at the last minute you want me to cancel I I'm willing to do it I
speaker 2: just sent you say because of the fact that it was almost dead Rodger and his children and nobody else that messes up Rogers day and now for Rogers going to have to focus on spending time one-on-one with his own children for Rodger what's your concern is that last name is
speaker 1: Rodger had about now
speaker 2: he's going to have fun because he's going to be stuck alone with his children there's nobody else coming over to
speaker 1: hospital I I can't I don't I don't know that that that it's not that we're not going to have the fun that we intended to have the whole thing it doesn't make sense it's not normal all the children if you're not able to have fun with the reason to make that allegation because nobody said that between the or just said if you're not able to have fun with the plan but I made the plans for the 24 hours in advance in order to satisfy your other rules for me it it's just I know but I you know I'm frustrated because I want to enjoy my relationship with my children and you have an Endless Sea of rules that I'm trying to abide by and even when I do you're telling me I can't I don't know because the decisions you're making decisions for yourself and for them it's not that for them that's completely at least opinionated and I find it to be
speaker 2: inaccurate my opinions about what the best for my children have historically been very well informed and very good for their
speaker 1: well-being so they sign for them to spend all morning at the last minute with another family that wasn't expecting to have them not what I wanted to have them that's totally fine but what's not fine is for us to proceed with the plans that I told you about in advance more than your 24 hour rule at the last minute I can't fathom yes I am absolutely I got better with your decisions about where you're taking the kids and what influences are
speaker 2: informing where and how you spend time with your kids I I have
speaker 1: significant terrible it would be terrible for them to meet other fun children and play in a pool and play football and basically rocket
speaker 2: I do think that that is a response to Rogers invitation and it's not a response to you sitting around this week thinking about what's best for your
speaker 1: life I did sit around this week thinking what would be fun for our children I spent intentional time cleaning my schedule I don't I don't want to argue with you.
speaker 2: Okay
speaker 1: okay you don't have to it's okay you don't have to argue with
speaker 2: me I don't want to argue with you either so let's not argue let's just agree that you love your children and when you spend time with them you are capable of having fun with them and spending time
speaker 1: with them the priority for you so let's just
speaker 2: agree on what we agree about I I'm not accusing you of saying otherwise I'm telling you we don't need to argue because we agree it sounds like you are very angry with me or taking the children to
speaker 1: the tires
speaker 2: and I need you to
speaker 1: understand. I'm not angry I'm not angry with you for taking the kids to be in a house it's a completely normal socially or normative thing to do what's what's frustrating is I just told you would like to spend that time with the children and you clearly wanted to unload them somewhere else and you didn't give me the opportunity and you called me something about it and it's
speaker 2: okay you're do you think that I did a horrible thing and I am a bad mother because I made a decision
speaker 1: that you're a bad mother
speaker 2: was very upset that says click them to the laws this morning that that clear and not
speaker 1: that many you've got it at any time to talk about that but I'm upset about is that you should write to me as being what I'm upset about is that you characterize me as being irresponsible and inconsiderate and a bad father because I wanted to spend that time with them
speaker 2: weekend learning about your abusive behaviors and you wanted to set
speaker 1: up an entire schedule to be able to do
speaker 2: that. So when when that time is set aside for your you learning to stop being abusive and controlling towards your family and all of a sudden you have to change your home because there's an opportunity to have them in front of Rodger that's that's got nothing to do with restoring your family and that's got nothing to do with your children when they going to study
speaker 1: Christmas program while I was spending time with our kids I was going to do something with them we had an opportunity to do something fun with other fun Children's that may say
speaker 2: hey
speaker 1: this morning to spend time studying because there was an opportunity to do something soon and so you changed everything the time with the other time I got up this morning let me take that further away from his beautiful benches program the time and you said Thursday at an acceptable way to schedule time with the children cuz it wasn't 24 hours notice to
speaker 2: I don't feel like I did something bad or made a bad decision this morning and I am insulted at how many times you brought it up as though it
speaker 1: was something terrible I made a good decision nobody in town has ever said that it's a bad decision to let your children spend time with responsible families or that you can't do that at the moment it's having said that that's bad I'm saying I should have some rights to see my children that time
speaker 2: I know Dustin but I have somewhere that I have to be at a certain time and I had to hit the road and I needed to get them somewhere so quickly
speaker 1: you didn't know that when you said I couldn't have the children I opened my grandma was going to be there and they haven't seen grandma and
speaker 2: forever because of social distancing now it's supposed to drop them off at 9:30 and it wasn't until I got there at 9:30 a.m. I see that there's a voice screen panels old Dodge Ram with lines and the windows that it looks like they are living out of town and I'm sent me a text oh by the way Jeremy and Shadow you're going to be here for the next hour like I still have to hit the road and yet there was a possibility I could have taken the kids to you but honestly like these kinds of conversations are full physical be insulting to me and I don't enjoy talking to you because of the way you characterize as being controlling or doing terrible things to do or acting like I victimized you
speaker 1: might say anything inaccurate I'm not trying to characterize as being a bad person I'm trying to find a fight with actually occurring in
speaker 2: like and leading to hit the road to drive in the next ten minutes you have not historically behaved honorably towards me in a way that makes not be a good time for me to get into it with you about changing your plan throughout the day because it is just difficult and it should not be and if there's somebody else equidistant from me so I know it's going to not treat me the way that you have treated me so it's just going to make a big drama out of pointing out times that I changed the schedule last minute but didn't let them change the schedule last minute and arbitrary and
speaker 1: have any money to spend this time with the children I know but all right I got I got to go I got the kids here I don't want to be doing this long
speaker 2: what
speaker 1: am I supposed to do show for them and go into different did you really just going to your children they're here with me we were packing up to leave just do our plans that we've had for a long time
speaker 2: did you get that thing that you just said I have the children and place that we've had for a long time they in a location with they were capable of hearing what you just
speaker 1: said yes there and I'm alone at the house and I'm trying to spend time with my children and that is why I'm informing you may have to end that phone call because I can't do this I enjoyed some time with my kids and this is not
speaker 2: that they're actually hear these words that you're saying right now too I can't hear you okay it sounds to me like you're telling me that those words that you're saying the children are hearing you say those words
speaker 1: okay well I'm going to go and I love you and I hope you have a good day and I'm sorry that I can't believe you but I can't do this are you staying at the McDonald's home but yeah that's the rule like it should be yes or no do you believe that the okay I didn't say are you going to pretend that there's a rule and I
speaker 2: said are you staying at McDonald's
speaker 1: house yes I'm staying at the McDonald's house and I got to go I got to I got to go