speaker 1: 
speaker 2: this call may be recorded press one to accept hey, hey so we barely have enough money. Got to buy the tax software okay we definitely don't have enough money to pay all of our sales that are coming up all right you won't be getting a paycheck tomorrow so where did you want the customer know I don't think you getting a paycheck tomorrow were you expecting a paycheck tomorrow I thought they paid at the end of every week but I guess I could be wrong news the week before I mean you get a it's every Friday but you know there's a lag it's for two weeks ago. So was there somewhere in particular you wanted to borrow money from to make ends meet with no all right so you want me to figure that out I guess yeah but that that kind of the only reason I even asked is because you've been doing so much money would I call blame-shifting this past week and that is obviously heightened by this whole plan that you have to do whatever I say but then blame me for it it was listening to our phone calls and it's just uncanny how much you can say that the taxes aren't done because I am a hard drives and you know just ridiculous things like that I say we shouldn't argue about this stuff cuz we're not going to agree about it I'm I'm saying that I'm incorrect when I'm not incorrect it's not an argument that's then I'm explaining something to you I'm not saying that. Correct quote unquote truth and it's not and you are arguing you're arguing with me and I'm telling you information it's not an argument information that you're telling me is supposedly true and I'm just supposed to agree with you know I'm telling you something so that you can listen to it not so that we can argue about it I'm telling you information the information is not in light of all of the blame game that's going on and that really beat the blame game the blaming me for things that I was just giving you examples I wasn't giving you a comprehensive list of all the wage that you blamed me in the past week I was just giving you examples so the example of me being the reason that your taxes are not done instead of the many more money that you were not doing your taxes like that's blame-shifting but that's just again just one example and blame-shifting is not something that is really supposed to be part of any marriage and it's certainly not part of our game plan for fixing things and in addition you were supposed to be staying within a like sending budget and I feel like you've completely ignored that and not need it and not taking it seriously and that's not something I really want to be confronting you about individual charges and I certainly don't think that there's a way that I can I manage accounts so that you're not able to go over your allowance because I have to obviously you have to have money for gas but if you're going to spend gas money on pasties wage then you don't you know there's no actual there's no actual tab whatsoever I don't know you spent money at pastis in the last week off there's a charge for Tasty's on your Fidelity card I didn't go to tastings when was it well it says February 24th and it says $7.61 and it says the Fernandina location I don't know in the last time I was at Daisy's but that work on Monday not Tasty's okay so maybe it was Sunday or maybe it was Tuesday I don't know maybe it was Saturday Sunday or Tuesday or Saturday I was with you on the weekend all right so how are we going to dispute this bogus charge I don't know Aaron I don't either what what is the point of this conversation you're turning to the work needed for a burger charges on our credit on your debit card I think we need to contact pasties and get them to refund it okay did you just say that I was trying to divorce you over it like do you understand how that following your plan me not eating you understand illogical it was for you to just say that like that is absolutely crazy that is absolutely crazy yes that is blame-shifting to take you deciding not to do anything that you the very first thing that you said you need to restore a mirror well that's false so and then diverting attention away from actually talking about the charge at pastis to try to accuse me of divorcing you over going to taste he's off like that is that is wild well I was talking about the focus Target pasties and getting It reversed how do you propose we go about doing that don't know I don't either do you think I need to contact fidelity I don't know honey I don't know if it's from a different time I don't know what it is so it's not from the different time it charged on February 24th within the state of time that you said you had definitely not gone to pasties they're closed right now and I guess that's the account that you never added me to so you think Fidelity won't talk to me about it I don't know and you never followed through with making sure your Rush subscription got cancelled that's false also and did they cancel it yes and you spend $8.99 Circle K okay which wasn't for your gas if it was you only bought 899 and gas no so why'd you get charged 819 or gas I've got gas for my car I know I'm saying why did you only buy $8.99 worth of gas off so why is there a charge for 899 because I have a big pink what do you mean I had to buy gas twice and so I was checking know you're not you're accusing me a buying stuff that I'm not buying off I don't like the way you're speaking to either I was calling to explain to you why going to be talking anymore I don't feel like you're dead we're not talking any more I'm not going to be talking to you anymore we're not in relationship with one another none of the things that you said about wanting to gain my trust or about wanting to love me has been accusing me of not doing none of them none of them have been borne out by your actions I'm not doing terrible things to you I'm not making terrible accusations against you I'm not saying false things about you I'm not trying to blame you for everything like your birth being really really really really mean to me and it shouldn't be this hard and I shouldn't be treated this poorly I can't live this way it's not okay to treat somebody this way if you would like to go with me to Matt border on Tuesday you can go with me to Matt before on Tuesday but because of how you're treating me because of even how you're talking to me about spending money and I don't think that we I don't think that we have a relationship and if you need somebody to explain that to you then you can take this recording of this phone call and you can go to a person and you can say, can you listen to this recording with me and you can sit with that person and as the recording you know plays out you can press the pause button every 60 seconds and say what did I do during that minute on that phone call that showed my love and Devotion to my bride and you can log in to that person the answer but I'm not going to be a person who can walk through that with you because I shouldn't be subjecting myself to the amount of mistreatment that I've been subjecting myself too long since you checked into Honey Lake what time would you like me to bring Lucy on Saturday morning I'll message you in our family wizard and but like I told you last time I had to stop communicating with you when you can't get in touch with me when I don't when I don't answer the phone when I don't answer the phone when I'm not talking to you that doesn't mean that I don't love you and it doesn't mean that I'm any less committed to you than I've ever been I'm always 100 believe that whatever whatever I can do one hundred percent of everything that I've told you that you've asked me to do and you're still treating me like a not doing it I I don't know how to give you more than everything that I have by that's not true how can I give you more than everything that they have you haven't given me a more than you have you haven't dusted do you have it you want everything that I have into not communicate with me you're still spending money on food like crazy like crazy like you're still vaping like crazy you're still not finishing taxes like crazy trying to fit your taxes like right now I ask you for your still being really really nice to me on the phone and I mean like almost every time I mean to you I'm not asking what you trying to do I have hour's worth of recordings that I've gone back and listened to from the last couple days and as I listen to the recordings everything out of your mouth is blaming and shaming and guilting me right up to this conversation right here it's uncanny it's uncanny and it's out of touch with reality and this is the calls and I don't hear that your words right now are telling me that you've done everything Avast but what have you done that actions what have you done you access to all of our money and I can't access any of it and you telling me that I'm spending money I'm not spending money do you hear yourself yes do you hear yourself you know that you what can I do for you and you know that you have you asked me to give it to you and I did how am I going to access it it deleted myself from the account I thought that's what you wanted I think that you're diverting a lot of attention away from your purchase at pastis right now and I think this is a spectacular performance on your part and I think that you are not used to I think that you're not used to your tactics not not working and I think it's going to take some adjustment we both recognize that you're not actually contesting the charges that you're doing all of these crazy rhetoric acrobatics to divert attention away from that I'm trying to divert attention away from anything you're the one that told me that the actions of my income and what's the actual plan for getting the charges or Thursday what's the actual doing exactly like you went and you made a burger I do I don't I don't understand why the number that's going to Tasty's I don't know who came who cares whether the day you ate it matches the date that's on the charges what I don't understand I never said that you aided on Monday you just ridiculous you're being ridiculous it's ridiculous it's ridiculous to treat me like dirt like I'm making stuff up about you not treating me like dirt yes you are you're you've made a list of the things that you said in this phone call which I can because we have a recording like you'd see all the mean things that can be done to try to make me look bad or make me feel guilty or blame me or think that you're somehow behind you bad you're acting like you're a victim of me making false allegations against you that's absurd it's absurd I don't deserve that it's absurd all right it's not all right that's enough I don't think I add pasties since my budget was setup of $100 for food a month which I did blow 25 buying food at the grocery store with $25 a week why are you saying twenty-five a week cuz that's more it's more okay we should have what you need is more I I already went over the hundred dollars buying food at the grocery store cuz the cost more than $100 so I haven't been to a restaurant to buy food that's not true okay unless I somehow lost my mind and got a burger and Tasty's I don't remember I don't you just said that you haven't been to a restaurant Destin just think of how many restaurants you Dustin listen to yourself okay it's not okay I mean there's no way you take yourself seriously right I don't get this you've been to so many restaurants it's it's silly we're being silly at this point this is not a relationship I don't know what this is it is bizarre it is weird but it's not a relationship talking about the Outback you trying to figure out which ones I don't know about and which ones I do know about so that you don't accidentally admit to the wrong one this is ridiculous this is ridiculous like ridiculous just think about like think about it for a minute let me figure out which one she knows about so I don't accidentally admit the one that she doesn't know about this is ridiculous this is ridiculous. I don't there's nothing genuine about you nothing nothing but no part of you that's a horrible thing to say about me what are you talking about Outback I mean Dustin what have you been to any restaurants this week yes so when you go back and you listen to our phone calls you feel proud of yourself when you go back and listen to the recordings yeah listening to it going yeah I am loving her like no man has ever loved a woman before killing it don't back in time to learn how to I know but I'm saying you approve of yourself do you approve of yourself do you listen to it and go wow that was really loving oh and oh and that was really rational just listen to me yeah because that how you're feeling about yourself while you're listening and listening is to understand what you need so I can be better so listening to you not listening to me when you listen are you feeling good about what you're hearing yourself say I feel really scared to talk to you about this if you like that's what I'm saying I don't think that I don't think that you and I should be talking dead have a relationship outside of you trying to make me feel like I'm a controlling woman and I don't think that you have any real interest in me other than needing somebody to blame everything on and I'm only having you control things cuz that's what you asked me for nope that's what I would do and you want to because this is quite often is this doing shifting this is like shifting you know that I've never wanted anything except to be submissive to you you know I never wanted anything except for you to be the leader in our home of blame-shifting that's blank if that you're you're it's not my fault that you've been abusing us it's not my fault it's not my fault it's not my fault so you can't frame me as being someone who wants to make the decisions for our household that's not fair you can frame me as somebody who has such a victory such a victim that she's having to do this in order for her family to not be ruined by you but you can't say that we're doing this because you asked me to doing this because you asked me to Aaron doing this for you because it's what you really want like that's not okay so it's not okay because I don't want it it's awful and I hate it so stop acting like it's some good thing for me to have to tell you to do things that you should be doing anyways
speaker 1: I
speaker 2: just want you to be happier and why can't you be honest about pasties and go to sleep on Monday and I I didn't say you went on Monday Justin to stop changing the subject we're not talking about what day was it okay I went to Tasty's and I don't remember there being after you gave me a budget of $25 a week could be long I guess no no no no no no you know I don't know I think it was before that and I'm telling you that there wasn't really much opportunity before that I not because you got out of Honey Lake on the 14th and we set the budget on the 17th right don't know and you had to have it in the back of your mind while you were doing they're standing at the register making a purchase and what in the back of my mind the fact that it wasn't part of your budget that's why this is absurd that you're pretending that you would do that without knowing sure it's just on my food budget what certain that I did that I'm sorry I Justin do you realize how ridiculous this is like to take a decision that you made and instead of just owning it capitalizing on me bringing it up as an opportunity to make me look like I'm a bad person for making accusations or starting arguments I'm trying to make you look like a bad person that's changing the subject do you realize how ridiculous it is that you're going to stop that
speaker 1: I didn't know no no no
speaker 2: no you're saying that you don't know if it was after you had a budget like do you understand that you're that that's gaslighting to me to make me pretend that that is reasonable like it's on its face obvious that you knew and any rational person looking at the situation which be able to see that you would know and you would necessarily know that you're wanting me to participate in a fantasy world where I proposed and it's plausible that you didn't know what you were doing I don't care if you had the logically abusive towards me asking to question my own judgment like to question oh that's right it's more reasonable to think that he didn't wasn't remembering his budget when he did that like that she's not a reasonable thing to think and you're you're wanting me to question myself for what I know this is not okay that's been yourself but you're wanting me to sync that it makes sense that you didn't know what you were doing we're being ridiculous like you think it's ridiculous when David does it right you sound just as he does what silly when he argues and tries to blame other people like you sound just for anything it's just as silly if you can go back and listen to this phone call and and and make a list of anything that you said that might sound like it's blaming me I can sit down I can make a list of everything you said in the phone call that sounds like it's blaming me and I'm telling you before I can listen to the recording and I can make you a list but you're changing the subject right now you're awfully artfully diverting two topics other than the fact that you went to Casey's this is ridiculous like it's not that I can't figure out a way to go it's not like I can't figure out a way to go and make $8 to make up for the budget shortfall fall and it's not like I'm not willing to find a way to go out and earn $8 to make up for the budget shortfall it's this conversation that does not work you can't treat people this way it's not okay I didn't call you and argue with you I didn't call you to insult you I didn't to call you to accuse you of anything I called to give you a rationale that I thought would be helpful to you so you would understand why I'm not going to talk to you on Friday or Saturday or Sunday or Monday I gave you an opportunity to tell me what time you would like me to drop Lucy off to work on her school project and you chose not to respond to me as a tactic to keep me on the phone with you I told you that I would message you through our family wizard to set up a time for you to see your daughter Lucy and help her with the school project and if that's something that's important to you then you'll figure out a way to login to that app and you'll figure out a way to either send me a message or use the calendar feature so that I'll know what time to drop off if you don't use that app then I'll assume that time with her is not really that important to you are you able to are you able to take time off of work to go back with me on Tuesday
speaker 1: I
speaker 2: don't know okay well I made an appointment for 1:30 so if it's important to you to see me for marriage counseling I'm assuming that you'll figure out a way to be thought his Riverside office at 1:30 please know that but and why are we going to see Matt if you're I'm doing everything another new with me for choosing that Dustin between now and Tuesday maybe wow what you just did was not choosing relationship with me okay not have a relationship with you that's okay you're still doing it you're still doing it wrong to blame me for all of this you are you are you blaming me
speaker 1: you're
speaker 2: blaming me for something that you just did it again you still not blaming you for anything exactly like you're not taking responsibility for what month right but it's you're just adding another layer of blaming me when you say that you're blaming me for saying you and I'm not blaming you blaming me for calling you a blamer when you're not a blamer I mean we're way way way way way Beyond ridiculous land here like just stop I'm doing everything I'm doing everything everything that I can do to pursue a relationship with you I'm doing absolutely everything having a price cuz you need to stop this is like unbelievable the level of blame-shifting that is happening right now in real time is astronomical you try to control me through blame shame and guilt and it's like you don't know any other way to operate in this world that's not a relationship that you're pursuing that's power and control that you're pursuing and literally everything that I have a shame and guilt and shame and guilt possibly give birth I would give it to you that it's not true it's not true it's not true that's not reality I'm doing everything that I can on my end for us to have relationships you're not taking responsibility for spending money at pastis you're not taking responsibility for the way that you take blame should put on all of our phones every know know any Tasties page entire life that's no not a problem to take responsibility for money to spend that they seize you want to pretend that it didn't happen after you should be spending $25 a week I don't think it did and that was you that said $25 a week now it was really $100 a month and am having to spend any money since that they don't terrible to me that's not true Dustin CA said $25 a week you entered 100 because you had a monthly spreadsheet I never said a number and nobody said 100 that's not true it is it's true I'm very disappointed and how you've treated me tonight I was really hoping that you would be able to find joy in the opportunity to show me between now and Tuesday that you're actually doing the things that I've lost you to do already done that what are you asking me to do well between now and Tuesday between now and Tuesday if you don't spend money that you're not supposed to be spending then we'll have more items that it'll be reasonable to present you like I'll be able to tell you what else I need seems to me like talking to me on the phone is really stressful for some reason seems to me at this point that I like I don't even see why you want to be with me because you seem to hate everything about me and you seem to not enjoy being around me or talking to me seems to me like you're just trying to figure out how to keep me under control for life so that I don't ever make off with your half of your real estate portfolio if you leave me I'm giving you everything because that is a convenient argument I know but that's a convenient argument to detract from the fact that you're not actually being good to be in our relationship I don't know how to do anything else for you cut the crap stop pretending that there's not stuff that I've asked you to do that you should actually do I know I'm just saying stop pretending not pretending anything yes you are you're wanting me to pretend that you've been responsible in regards to filing taxes you're wanting me to pretend that you're not doing something really bad to your wife and children by choosing nicotine you want me to pretend that the only reason that you're staying in a budget is because I you said $100 a month like went over budget you're trying to convince me that I'm the one who's making these requirements that you're trying so hard to comply with and in reality reality right in in the field and in the real life real world see it says $25 because of the irresponsible financial decisions that you've been making for years because of all the tools that are in your shed and in yep and in your trailer see a is capable of doing math it's not because I have some made-up requirement it's not because I am sadistically trying to make you jump through hoops to get back to me these are things that you would have to be doing if I had died in a car accident two years ago this has nothing to do with me this has to do with the fact that you are a father and you have serious behavioral problems that are stopping you from caring for your own children I shouldn't have to be the messenger you should be able to listen to other men tell you these things but you liked it a lot better to say other men are stupid and ruined everything and unethical and immoral and illegal and you don't have to listen to them but I'll do it when my wife says it because I'm so hero if I love her so good oh yeah I'll do anything for her she's making me do this I'll do whatever she says like I shouldn't have to say that Dustin you should be able to do the math yourself and see if you don't have any money you should be able to do the math for yourself and see you can't afford wage in any form you should be able to do the math for yourself and see your years behind on your accounting like it's math it's math two things that would really go a long way in restoring class with me right now would be if you would admit what you did at pasties and if you would use the Our Family Wizard app to set up a time to see Lucy on Saturday please no I'm not talking to you for a few days because I do want you to get caught up in taxes and I don't enjoy these toxic conversations that we've been home link and I do want you to have an opportunity to prove to me that you're being genuine and I think come Tuesday that'll be pretty clear whether you've done that or not okay I love you bye