speaker 1:  this call may be recorded press one to accept hello how you doing hanging in there how are you good how's your counseling it was good he told me that you guys talked I didn't realize that have you talked to the doctor said no that's disappointing Jeff did you follow up at all when you can call on them to find out when I would get a report and they always tell me they don't know and they'll call me back and they never do okay can't be can't be in the works if you haven't even talked to you this point really honestly month had tried to find apartments around my workplace and said that he couldn't find any that's weird I'm going to need to make a plan to get out of here sometime in the future so if you're really serious about this directing everything thing I think I need you to figure out what you want me to do okay how do you feel about that though I don't know I mean do you feel like you're being like held over a barrel and manipulated and controlled what do you feel like you have an opportunity to show love and deference I mean I guess those opposite so what does just couldn't I did seem like very opposite scenarios to me showing the frame and took for me the opportunity to show deference is like joyful like I feel like I'm really excited and good about that whereas somebody having you over the barrel and controlling you it's not a good thing online said that you're concerned I did I did and you said you're canceling that you are controlling its and then that is the mode by which I'm being deferential that's probably wrong because all of your problems most of your problems come from a skewed perception of what control is in other words when somebody's being deferential by definition they're not being controlled because it's voluntary all right well I am voluntarily being deferential to you in choosing that okay but I need you to choose where I'm going to live when I get out of here because I can't stay here forever okay yeah yeah I think I mean if if you're being serious if you're not just manipulating me to whatever put a roof over your head and then next week it's just getting cuz I can't take much more of that business I am not giving yeah oh what did that say about that though seriously considering committing me Julie why did you say that you would submit to your wife he felt that that was sign of instability no because I said that I give you whatever you want I was asking about me telling you what to do and I thought you were saying that in light of that he went you committed to our phone calls but we did not have time you wanted him to listen to our phone call so he could understand the Dynamics of me trying to control you no it's about he could I hear from me and understand what's actually going on so he could what MD hear you okay but I'm saying in light of what you said to him about your plan so voluntarily submitting to my decisions he was what if we talked about it in the context of need stipulating that you could Define our divorce you have listened to our phone call and I did not have a chance to play it because he asked me to go figure out what was happening with that assessment and yes did you feel like he was supportive of of what you the way you were thinking and that or do you feel like you was trying to discourage you from thinking that way I'm giving you everything in our divorce yeah cuz I'm saying there's two very different ways that could be taken he thinks I'm not nuts for saying that you're going to give me everything else anything that's like part of why you thinking that you're unstable at this point cuz able to like take care of yourself he didn't give me at me so obviously he thinks I'm okay everybody stand there going what is he talking about I thought you say you can only have your phone in your room I'm sitting on my porch okay I got people waiting on me to go to dinner money but I can call you later okay that's okay I love you all right let me see bye-bye