speaker 1:  hey mama hey
speaker 2: really so we barely have enough money. Okay to buy the tax software we definitely don't have enough money to pay all of our bills that are coming up you won't be getting a paycheck tomorrow so where did you want to pick up tomorrow no I don't think you're getting a paycheck tomorrow were you expecting a paycheck tomorrow
speaker 1: I thought they paid at the end of every week but I guess I could be wrong maybe as the week before
speaker 2: I mean you get a it's every Friday but you know there's a
speaker 1: lag yeah
speaker 2: it's for like two weeks ago so was there somewhere in particular you wanted to borrow money from to make ends meet no all right so you want me to figure that out
speaker 1: I guess okay figure it out
speaker 2: but that that kind of the only reason I even asked is because you've been doing so much money would I call blame-shifting this past week and that is obviously heightened by this whole plan that you have to do whatever I say but then blame me for it it was listening to our phone calls and it's just uncanny how much you can say that the taxes aren't done because I suck your hard drives and you know just ridiculous things like
speaker 1: that I don't find them ridiculous I say we shouldn't argue about this stuff cuz we're not going to agree about
speaker 2: it I'm not arguing I'm I'm I'm not
speaker 1: saying that I'm incorrect when I'm not interested
speaker 2: it's not an argument Dustin I'm explaining something to you I'm not saying that you're incorrect
speaker 1: quote truth and it's not dead you
speaker 2: are arguing you're arguing with me and I'm telling you
speaker 1: information it's not an argument information that you're telling me is supposedly true and I'm just supposed to agree with you
speaker 2: know I'm telling you something so that you can listen to it not so that we can argue about it I'm telling you information the information is that in light of all of the blame game that's going on Thursday and that really be the blame game the blaming me for thinking that's I was just giving you examples I wasn't giving you a comprehensive list of all the wage that you blamed me in the past week I was just giving you examples so the example of me being the reason that your taxes are not done instead of the many more money that you were not doing your taxes like that's blame-shifting but that's just again just one example and blame-shifting is not something that is really supposed to be part of any marriage and it's certainly not part of our game plan for fixing things and in addition you were supposed to be staying within a like spending budget and I feel like you've completely ignored that and not need it and not taking it seriously and that's not something I really want to be confronting you about individual charges and I certainly don't think that there's a way that I can I manage accounts so that you're not able to go over your allowance because I have to obviously you have to have money for gas but if you're going to spend gas money on pasties wage then you don't you know there's no actual there's no actual cap whatsoever I don't know you spent money at Taste he's in the last week. there's a charge for Tasty's on your Fidelity card
speaker 1: I didn't go to tastings when was it
speaker 2: but says February 24th and it says $7.61 and it says the Fernandina
speaker 1: location I don't know when the last time I was at Tasty but I was at work on Monday not
speaker 2: Tasty's okay so maybe it was Sunday or maybe it was Tuesday I don't know
speaker 1: maybe it was Saturday on Sunday or Tuesday or Saturday I was with you on the weekend all right so how are we going to
speaker 2: dispute this bogus charge I
speaker 1: don't know Aaron I don't either what what is the point of this conversation you're threatening to divorce me over a burger
speaker 2: know there's bogus charges on our credit on your debit card I think we need to contact Tasty's I get them to refund it okay did you just say that I was trying to divorce you over it like do you
speaker 1: understand how that following your plan not eating
speaker 2: you understand how pathological it was for you to just say that like that is absolutely crazy that is absolutely crazy yes that is blame-shifting to take you deciding not to do anything that you the very first thing that you said you suck dude to restore a mirror
speaker 1: well that's false
speaker 2: then and then diverting attention away from actually talking about the charge at pastis to try to accuse me of divorcing you over going a STEEZ that like that is why that is wild well I was talking about the bogus charge at taystee's and getting It reversed how do you propose we go about doing that
speaker 1: don't know I don't either
speaker 2: do you think I need to contact
speaker 1: fidelity I don't know honey I don't know if it's from a different time I don't know what it is don't it's not from a different
speaker 2: time it charged on February 24th that is within the span of time that you said you had definitely not gone to tastees oh they're closed right now and I guess that's the account that you never added me to so you think Fidelity won't talk to me about it I told him no and you never followed through with making sure your Rush subscription got cancelled
speaker 1: that's false also
speaker 2: and did they cancel it
speaker 1: yes
speaker 2: and you spend $8.99 at Circle K
speaker 1: okay which wasn't for your gas yes it
speaker 2: was you only bought 899 and
speaker 1: gas no
speaker 2: so why'd you get charged
speaker 1: 899 for gas that gas for my
speaker 2: car I know I'm saying why did you only buy $8.99 worth of gas
speaker 1: I didn't feel that
speaker 2: why is the why is there a charge for 899
speaker 1: because I have a big
speaker 2: Bank what do you mean
speaker 1: I had to buy gas twice there and
speaker 2: oh okay okay I was just asking
speaker 1: know you're not you're accusing me of buying stuff that I'm not buying off I don't like the way you can either it's
speaker 2: I was calling to explain to you why going to be talking anymore I don't feel like we're not talking any more I'm not going to be talking to you anymore we're not in relationship with one another none of the things that you've said about wanting to gain my trust or about wanting to love me has been dead for nothing that you're
speaker 1: accusing me of not doing
speaker 2: none of them none of them have been borne out by your actions I'm not doing terrible things to you I'm not making terrible accusations against you I'm not saying false things about you I'm not trying to blame you for everything like you're being really really really really mean to me off and it shouldn't be this hard and I shouldn't be treated this poorly I can't live this way it's not okay to treat somebody this way if you would like to go with me to Matt border on Tuesday you can go with me to map or on Tuesday but because of how you're treating me because of even how you're talking to me about spending money
speaker 1: and I don't think that
speaker 2: we I don't think that we have a relationship and if you need somebody to explain that to you then you can take this recording of this phone call and you can go to a person and you can say hey can you listen to this recording with me and you can sit with that person and as the recording you know plays out you can press the pause button every 60 seconds and say what did I do during that month it on that phone call that showed my love and Devotion to my bride and you can listen to that person the answer but I'm not going to be a person who can walk through that with you. Because I shouldn't be subjecting myself to the amount of mistreatment that I've been subjecting myself to since you checked into Honey Lake what time would you like me to bring Lucy on Saturday morning I'll message you in our family
speaker 1: wizard and
speaker 2: like I told you last time I had to stop communicating with you when you can't get in touch with me when I don't when I don't answer the phone when I don't answer the phone when I'm not talking to you that doesn't mean that I don't love you and it doesn't mean that I'm any less committed to you than I've ever been I'm always 100 whatever I what ever
speaker 1: done one hundred percent of everything that I've told you that you've asked me to do and you're still treating me like I'm not doing it I don't know how to give you more than everything that I have I that's not true how can I give you more than everything that I have
speaker 2: do you haven't given me more than you have you haven't Dustin you haven't
speaker 1: you want everything that I have into not communicate
speaker 2: with me you're still spending money on food like
speaker 1: crazy like
speaker 2: crazy you're still vaping like you're still vaping like crazy you're still not finishing taxes like
speaker 1: crazy trying to sit here and do taxes like right now I ask you first
speaker 2: still being you're still being really really nice to me on the phone and I mean like almost
speaker 1: every time to be mean to you
speaker 2: alone I'm not asking what you're trying to do I have hour's worth of recordings that I've gone back and listened to from the last couple of days and as I listen to the recordings everything out of your mouth is blaming and shaming and guilting me right up to this conversation right here it's uncanny it's uncanny and it's out of touch with
speaker 1: reality gone back and listened to the calls and I don't hear that
speaker 2: your words right now are telling me that you've done everything a vast but what have you done that
speaker 1: and what have you done you access to all of our money and I can't access any of it and you telling me that I'm spending money I'm not spending
speaker 2: money do you hear yourself
speaker 1: yes do you hear yourself you know that you can what can I do for you
speaker 2: you know that you could access the money if you wanted to and you know that you have you
speaker 1: asked me to give it to you and I did how am I going to access it deleted myself from the account I thought that's what you
speaker 2: wanted I think that you're diverting a lot of attention away from your purchase at taystee's right now and I think this is a spectacular performance on your part and I think that you are not young too I think that you're not used to your tactics not not working and I think it's going to take some adjustment we both recognize that you're not actually contesting the charges but you're doing all of these crazy rhetoric acrobatics to divert attention away from
speaker 1: that I'm trying to divert attention away from anything you're the one that told me that okay so what's the actual plan for getting the income
speaker 2: and what's the actual plan for getting the charges
speaker 1: reversed. What's the actual billing
speaker 2: exactly like you went and you made a burger I do I don't I don't understand why
speaker 1: it keeps going to Tasty's I don't
speaker 2: yes yes so who cares who cares whether the day you ate it matches the date that's on the charges I don't understand I never said that you aided on Monday you just ridiculous you're being ridiculous it's ridiculous it's ridiculous to treat me like dirt like I'm making stuff up about
speaker 1: you not treating me like
speaker 2: dirt yes you are you made a list of the things that you said in this phone call which I can because we have a recording like you'd see all the mean things that I have done to try to make me look bad or make me feel guilty or blame me or think that you're somehow being didn't feel bad you're acting like you're a victim of me making false allegations against you think that's absurd
speaker 1: it's
speaker 2: absurd I don't deserve that it's absurd all right it's not all right Dustin
speaker 1: I don't think I ate at Tasty since my budget was setup of $100 for food a month which I did blow through 25-25 a week why are you saying twenty-five a week
speaker 2: cuz that's more it's more okay and what you have what you need any rate
speaker 1: I I already went over the hundred dollars buying food at the grocery store cuz it cost more than $100 so I haven't been to a restaurant to buy food that's not true okay unless I somehow lost my mind about a burger and Tasty's I don't remember I
speaker 2: don't you just said that you haven't been to a restaurant Destin just think of how many restaurants you Dustin listen to yourself okay it's not okay I mean there's no way you take yourself seriously
speaker 1: but I don't get this
speaker 2: you've been to so many restaurants it's it's silly we're being silly at this point this is not a relationship I don't know what this is it is bizarre it is weird but it's not a relationship you're
speaker 1: talking about the Outback
speaker 2: you trying to figure out which ones I don't know about and which ones I do know about so that you don't accidentally admit to the wrong one this is ridiculous this is ridiculous like ridiculous just think about like think about it for a minute let me figure out which one she knows about so I don't accidentally admit to one that she doesn't know about this is ridiculous this is ridiculous. I don't there's there's nothing genuine about you nothing nothing but no part of you is genuine
speaker 1: that's a horrible thing to say about me are you talking about
speaker 2: Outback I mean
speaker 1: Dustin what
speaker 2: have you been to any restaurants this
speaker 1: week yes
speaker 2: so when you go back and you listen to our phone calls you feel proud of yourself when you go back and listen to the recordings you're listening to it going yeah I am loving her like no man has ever loved a woman before killing it
speaker 1: back and trying to learn how
speaker 2: to I know but I'm saying do you approve of yourself do you approve of yourself do you listen to it and go wow that was really loving oh and oh and that was really rational just listen to me yeah because that how you're feeling about yourself while you're listening
speaker 1: plants listening is to understand what you need so I can be better
speaker 2: than in the know listening to you not listening to me when you listen are you feeling good about what you're hearing yourself say
speaker 1: I feel really scared to talk to you about this if you like that's what I'm saying I don't think that
speaker 2: I don't think that you and I should be talking right now I don't feel like you and I may have a relationship outside of you trying to make me look like I'm a controlling woman and I don't think that you have any real interest in me other than needing somebody to blame everything
speaker 1: on only having you control things cuz that's what you asked me
speaker 2: for something that's never what I wanted and you were awake nope so this is what is this blame-shifting this is blank shifting you know that I never wanted anything except to be submissive to you age you know I never wanted anything except for you to be the leader in our home so that's blame-shifting that's blameshift that you're you're it's not my fault that you've been abusing us it's not my fault it's not my fault it's not my fault so you can't frame me as being someone who wants to make the decisions for our household that's not fair wage you can frame me and somebody who has such a victim such a victim that she's having to do this in order for her family to not be ruined by you but you can't say that we're doing this because you asked me to doing this because you asked me to Aaron doing this for you because it's what you really want like that's not okay that was not okay because I don't want it it's awful and I hate it it to stop acting like it's some good thing for me to have to tell you to do things that you should be doing anyways
speaker 1: I just want you to be happier and
speaker 2: why can't you be honest about
speaker 1: Tasties I didn't go to Tasty's on Monday here and I I
speaker 2: didn't say you went on Monday Dustin to stop changing the subject
speaker 1: we're not talking about what day was it okay I went to Tasty's and I don't remember being after you gave me a budget of $25 a week could be wrong I guess
speaker 2: no no no no no no you know I
speaker 1: don't know no no I think it was before that and I'm telling you that there wasn't really much opportunity before that I not
speaker 2: because you got out of Honey Lake on the 14th and we set the budget on the 70th right
speaker 1: don't know
speaker 2: and you had to have it in the back of your mind while you were going in there standing at the register making a
speaker 1: purchase and what in the back of my
speaker 2: mind the fact that it wasn't part of your budget that's why this is absurd that you're pretending that you would do that without knowing sermon
speaker 1: on my food budget what certain that I did that I'm sorry I Dustin do
speaker 2: you realize how ridiculous this is to take a decision that you made and instead of just owning it capitalizing on me bringing it up as an opportunity to make me look like I'm a bad person for making accusations or starting arguments
speaker 1: I'm trying to make you look like a bad person
speaker 2: that's changing the subject do you realize how ridiculous it is and it's not that no no no no no no no you're saying that you don't know if it was after you had a budget like do you understand that you're that that's gaslighting to me to make me pretend that that is reasonable like it's on its face obvious that you knew in any rational person looking at the situation with be able to see that you would know and you would necessarily know but you're wanting me to participate in a fantasy world where I pretend it's plausible that you didn't know what you were doing
speaker 1: I don't care if
speaker 2: you like the logically abusive for me to question my own judgment like to question how long is right it's more reasonable to think that he didn't wasn't remembering his budget when he did that like that's not a reasonable thing to think and you're you're wanting me to question myself for what I know this is not
speaker 1: okay question yourself I
speaker 2: know but you're wanting me to think that it makes sense that you didn't know what you were doing were being ridiculous like you think it's ridiculous when David does it right you sound just as when he does what silly when he argues and tries to blame other people like you sound
speaker 1: you for anything Aaron
speaker 2: sound just as silly if you can go back and listen to this phone call and make a list of anything that you said that might sound like it's blaming me I can sit down I can make a list of everything you said in the phone call that sounds like it's blaming me and I'm telling you before I can listen to the recording and I can make you a list but you're changing the subject right now you're artfully artfully diverting two topics other than the fact that you went to Tasty's this is ridiculous like it's not that I can't figure out a way to go it's not like I can't figure out a way to go and make $8 to make up for the budget shortfall fall and it's not like I'm not willing to find a way to go out and earn $8 to make up for the budget shortfall it's this conversation that does not work you can't treat people this way it's not okay I didn't call you to argue with you I didn't call you to insult you I didn't to call you to accuse you of anything I called to give you a rationale that I thought would be helpful you so you would understand why I'm not going to talk to you on Friday or Saturday or Sunday on Monday I gave you an opportunity to tell me what time you would like me to drop Lucy off to work on her school project and you chose not to respond to me as a tactic to keep me on the phone with you I told you that I would message you through our family wizard to set up a time for you to see your daughter Lucy and help her with the school project and if that's something that's important to you then you'll figure out a way to login to that app and you'll figure out a way to either send me a message or use the calendar feature so that I'll know what time to drop her off if you don't use that app then I'll assume that time with her is not really that important to you are you able to are you able to take time off of work to go see Matt bear with me on
speaker 1: Tuesday I don't know
speaker 2: okay well I made an appointment for 1:30 so if it's important to you to see me for marriage counseling I'm assuming that you'll figure out a way to be at his side office at 1:30 please know that what
speaker 1: and why are we going to see Matt if you're
speaker 2: I'm doing everything I noted
speaker 1: you with me
speaker 2: know you're you're choosing that Dustin between now and Tuesday maybe wow what you just did was not choosing relationship with me okay
speaker 1: I'm not have a relationship with you
speaker 2: that's okay you're still doing it you're still doing it took wanting to blame me for all of this you are you are you're blaming me you're blaming me for something that you just did it again you still
speaker 1: doing I'm not blaming you for anything
speaker 2: exactly you like you're not taking responsibility for what
speaker 1: month right
speaker 2: but it's you're you're just do adding another layer of blaming me when you say that you're blaming me for
speaker 1: saying blaming you and I'm not blaming you
speaker 2: yeah you're blaming me for calling you a blamer when you're not a blamer I mean we're way way way way way Beyond ridiculous land here like just stop I'm doing everything I'm doing everything everything that I can do to pursue a relationship with you I'm doing absolutely everything having me out of your life you need to stop this is like unbelievable the level of blame-shifting that is happening right now in real time is astronomical you try to control me through blame shame and guilt and it's like you don't know any other way to operate in this world that's not a relationship that you're pursuing that's power and control that you're pursuing
speaker 1: and I've literally giving you everything that night
speaker 2: you just did it again but still claims shame and guilt and shame and guilt
speaker 1: possibly give you a
speaker 2: home claim shame and guilt
speaker 1: I would give it to you it's
speaker 2: not true Dustin it's not true it's not true it's not true that's not reality I'm doing everything that I can on my end for us to have a relationship you're not taking responsibility for spending money at pastis you're not taking responsibility for the way that you take blame shifted on all of our country
speaker 1: no no any Tasties found Tire life
speaker 2: that's no
speaker 1: not a problem to take responsibility for money to spend that they seize
speaker 2: you want to pretend that it didn't happen after CA told you you should be spending $25 a week I don't think it
speaker 1: did and that was you that said $25 a week no it was really $100 a month and it
speaker 2: was
speaker 1: like having to spend any money since then they don't
speaker 2: terrible to me that's not true Dustin see a $25 a week you entered 100 because you had a monthly spreadsheet I never said a number and nobody said
speaker 1: 100 that's not true
speaker 2: it is it's true I'm very disappointed and how you've treated me tonight I was really hoping that you would be able to find joy in the opportunity to show me between now and Tuesday that you're actually doing the things that I've missed you to do
speaker 1: already done that what are you asking me to
speaker 2: do well between now and Tuesday between now and Tuesday if you don't spend money that you're not supposed to be spending then we'll have more items Thursday it'll be reasonable to present you like I'll be able to tell you what else I need it seems to me like talking to me on the phone is really stressful for some reason seems to me at this point that I like I don't even see why you want to be with me because you seem to hate everything about me and you seem to not enjoy being around me or talking to me seems to me like you're just trying to figure out how to keep me under control for life so that I don't ever make off with your half of your real estate
speaker 1: portfolio if you leave me I'm giving you everything
speaker 2: because that is a convenient argument I know but that's a convenient argument to detract from the fact that you're not actually being good to me in our relationship
speaker 1: I don't know how to do anything else for you
speaker 2: and you could quit vaping Dustin like cut the crap cut the crap stop pretending that there's not stuff that I've asked you to do that you should actually do I know I'm just saying stop
speaker 1: pretending not pretending anything
speaker 2: yes you are you're wanting me to pretend that you've been responsible in regards to filing taxes you're wanting me to pretend that you're not doing something really bad to your wife and children by choosing nicotine you want me to pretend that the only reason that you're staying in a budget is because you said $100 a month later
speaker 1: I went over budget I
speaker 2: know but you're you're trying to convince me that I'm the one who's making these requirements that you're trying so hard to comply with and in reality reality right and in the real world and in the real life real world see the $25 because of the irresponsible financial decisions that you've been making for years because of all the tools that are in your shed and in yep and in your trailer see a is capable of doing math it's not because I have some made-up requirement it's not because I am sadistically trying to make you jump through hoops to get back to me these are things that you would have to be doing if I had died in a car accident two years ago this has nothing to do with me this has to do with the fact that you are a father and you have serious behavioral problems that are stopping you from caring for your own children I shouldn't have to be the messenger you should be able to listen to other men tell you these things but you liked it a lot better to say other men are stupid and ruined everything and unethical and immoral and illegal and you don't have to listen to them but I'll do it when my wife says because I'm so heroic I love her so good oh yeah I'll do anything for her she's making me do this I'll do whatever she says like I shouldn't have to say that Dustin you should be able to do the math yourself and see we don't have any money you should be able to do the math for yourself and see you can't afford wage in in any form you should be able to do the math for yourself and see your years behind on your accounting it's math it's math two things that would really go a long way in restoring trust with me right now would be if you would admit what you did at pasties and if you would use the Our Family Wizard app to set up a time to see Lucy on Saturday please no I'm not talking to you for a few days because I do want you to get caught up in taxes and I don't enjoy these toxic conversations that we've been hacked I think and I do want you to have an opportunity to prove to me that you're being genuine and I think come Tuesday that'll be pretty clear whether you've done that or not okay I love you bye