speaker 1: 
speaker 2: hello hello who is this hello hey hey
speaker 1: good who am I speaking with
speaker 2: Dustin's
speaker 1: okay just to make sure tell me about your graduation
speaker 2: oh good
speaker 1: and would you do give a little speech and Christ alone for money you gave a speech what
speaker 2: yes just a short 100 can I hear
speaker 1: it what
speaker 2: I didn't record and what I can't hear
speaker 1: you recording down you didn't record it and you didn't write it down that's okay you can tell me what you said you never forget your exact words
speaker 2: it's not true I said that I came from a broken phone lotta issues. My house and how to do think that the time of the interview with them
speaker 1: I can't do you have a different do you have a different speaker you can tell me the rest on cuz I can't really hear you from that speaker or that mic off
speaker 2: yeah that's better I told then I came from a broken home and that when my parents kicked me out I didn't take my mental problems from that seriously and finagled my way out of doing the therapy thing and that that didn't prepare me very well thank you for being a good husband and they never
speaker 1: really did therapy until I got here and my long-suffering
speaker 2: wife divorced me because of that and I thought that when I got here I was suicidal and felt like got it abandoned me but that everybody here has been really kind to be off and help me reconnects and grew in my face and I didn't really know what the future holds but I know that God has a plan for my life is that all true yep you think do you
speaker 1: think I think that's really
speaker 2: good nothing on me thanks was the thing that you were working on for me to stay somewhere working out yeah
speaker 1: I'm scared you won't like it
speaker 2: okay
speaker 1: but I need you
speaker 2: back I don't really want to do
speaker 1: any of what I've been doing the last few weeks like talking in circles of you about things that you did that were manipulative or
speaker 2: I
speaker 1: don't want that end it doesn't even
speaker 2: matter and you know I wasn't you know
speaker 1: I wasn't holding anything against you you know I'm not angry at you for anything and you know that there's nothing that you've ever done that I don't forgive you
speaker 2: for life thank you
speaker 1: there's there's nothing that you've ever done that makes me not want to be with you
speaker 2: thank you
speaker 1: but I have legitimate reasons to be fearful
speaker 2: to be alone in the room with
speaker 1: you I have legitimate reasons to be fearful of living in a house with you I have legitimate reasons to fear that you're not always going to make good decisions for our household and for our
speaker 2: children and
speaker 1: figured time with
speaker 2: us like sorry what was that last thing you
speaker 1: said like the time you spend with your family obviously like it just wouldn't you know what I mean it wouldn't make any sense for me to just trust that it's safe cutting out a little bit sorry there's no reason for me to trust that it's safe
speaker 2: you're cutting out a little
speaker 1: bit there's no reason for me to trust that it's safe to go to go back to how we were or to go on like we
speaker 2: were dead
speaker 1: but I mean there's a lot there's a lot there's a lot that I'm going to need to know that I can trust you
speaker 2: okay
speaker 1: so I think that I think the only past that I see is
speaker 2: for you
speaker 1: to go back to the McDonald's house and I asked them and they said that they'd love to have
speaker 2: you
speaker 1: and I think all they need you know in order to feel good about doing that like providing a place for you to live is just that they see that you are demonstrating a willingness to do what I'm asking you to do so that we're moving in the direction
speaker 2: of being a family again okay I think I can do that I don't know I don't know what don't you know
speaker 1: I don't know like I based on any past Behavior I don't have like any particular month reason to expect that you're going to do things that I asked you to do that would demonstrate to me that you love me and care about me I don't any any reason to think that you would ever sacrifice anything for me
speaker 2: why would I have done all this I mean for yourself sorry you feel that way
speaker 1: staring down the barrel of losing half of your assets and full-time personal
speaker 2: assistant jobs will
speaker 1: actually sacrifice anything
speaker 2: for my good everything you told me that
speaker 1: but you've never actually sacrificed anything for me you know what I mean and I never asked for all of our Assets in a settlement link you know what I mean that just feels like a it just feels like a like a manipulation move in light of all of your actions
speaker 2: unless they can make you feel better now I do want things to be different now I'll show you and then we really
speaker 1: need you need to we need to actually like put together a budget
speaker 2: you know sure
speaker 1: that's something that that's something I want to do back when we were engaged and it's something that you know a lot of people think every household should do and even if there was a time we didn't need it we definitely needed it the last few years and then I'd like to always have that going forward I can create it together and stick
speaker 2: to it
speaker 1: and then whatever it is I would like to make funnel the money in a way that what you have for your spending when you're at the McDonald's something I'd put in your account so that I know that that's all that's going to be
speaker 2: spent
speaker 1: is that okay
speaker 2: okay okay I send the real it's just not something that the
speaker 1: therapist here would probably support
speaker 2: so I got a I think it would be okay but I got
speaker 1: I think the issue is that the therapist thinks that this is all revolving around rehashing things with the elders and needing to work out those relationships but that he doesn't understand that's only been happening because of it like you remember
speaker 2: yeah
speaker 1: like Nathan was the one who drew me into joining one of your counseling sessions which was a complete waste of a counseling session for him to have me on the phone trying to get to the bottom of why I wouldn't tell you how you spend manipulative right yeah and it only looped into the elders because I'm trying to say like how can I trust that Dustin sorry for everything when he's saying that the everything that he's supposed to be sorry for and that the elders told him was wrong but they're idiots and don't know what they're talking about like that's the reason that we've been having so many stupid circular conversations rehashing what went down with the
speaker 2: elders yeah
speaker 1: Ted doesn't actually know that actually thinks that I want to rehash what happened with the
speaker 2: elders okay
speaker 1: he doesn't know that the elders are people who when you go to them and say let's rehash this they're going to say that's not necessary we love you and we want to move forward you know yeah
speaker 2: you know what I mean
speaker 1: yeah like that's way healthier than saying okay the Christian thing to do is tuck your tail and move on to people who don't know your past and don't try to suck restore fellowship with your brothers and
speaker 2: sisters like you know what I mean there's yeah
speaker 1: there's a Biblical element to it and he's giving you a biased opinion based on a lot of people who claim to be Christians but live selfishly and that's not the kind of people that we're talking
speaker 2: about yeah you know what I mean yeah it's not it's not
speaker 1: even people who don't like you with people who love you
speaker 2: let's see yeah and honestly like you
speaker 1: can you can stop saying that they're unethical and illegal and incompetent and like you don't have to keep saying those things right and that's all I was saying before
speaker 2: huh okay does that make sense
speaker 1: that when you say those things I feel scared and makes me want to run away from you it's it's scary to me okay which I would think Ted would understand that too that that's all I was getting at and that's fair and I think you also said that you were making a commitment that if you ever heard different advice from two different people you could tell them that you wanted to get the three of you
speaker 2: together absolutely yeah thanks yeah
speaker 1: I can tell you right now only because I've crunched I don't know if you don't have a budget
speaker 2: at all did you say
speaker 1: I have crunched the numbers and I'm just going to tell you that I don't see it line item for tobacco or alcohol being they're mathematically
speaker 2: I don't know if I getting stopped right away but I will work on it well how many do you have left I don't know I mean not only smoking in here cuz they won't they
speaker 1: so it's on the line item for
speaker 2: Vape juice I know I have to call my mom she needs calling me again yeah she wants me to Portland Oregon oh no
speaker 1: there was a bunch of heat and he has a hotel name
speaker 2: and user miles and blah blah blah
speaker 1: and she will stock
speaker 2: you I never even read that off
speaker 1: it's and it's only when
speaker 2: somebody else
speaker 1: and it's only when you accept that that she'll know you're an adult
speaker 2: so crazy
speaker 1: isn't that sweet Dustin like honestly I think that I think that she made you make that Runaway Bunny your favorite when you were a little kid you know what I'm talking about
speaker 2: yeah
speaker 1: I will come and get you anywhere never wage Escape for me
speaker 2: I'm actually having never been to the West Coast what a little tempted to take it up on it I haven't ever been to
speaker 1: Portland are crazy you don't want to go there
speaker 2: cuz it's
speaker 1: beautiful no no that's not what it's like there people there smoke pot all the time everywhere you like you can't walk outside across the courtyard without tripping over a pothead
speaker 2: sounds like my job
speaker 1: sites and if you do make it safely to like a crosswalk and Tifa come after you with the baseball
speaker 2: bat every day
speaker 1: no you don't want to go find out I don't know it's a little
speaker 2: tempting you know I mean I'll forget him
speaker 1: for real like if your Mom spending money on vacations thank you should ask her to put it aside for you to plan something with your children some
speaker 2: time yeah but it's not real fine points cuz she's like that she's she's got the
speaker 1: hotel oh she wants you to stay in a hotel with her yeah I don't I mean I don't see how that benefits your children
speaker 2: honestly I just don't understand the McDonald's there in for having me if I come on Saturday
speaker 1: sometime you have p a m c I felt like the best time for you to call him would be tomorrow between 3:00 and 5:00 because he he has a five hour drive to the Toronto Airport and the first three hours of that he doesn't have reception but he thought by 3:00 he'd be in an area with reception off my gosh you believe that it ended that's okay
speaker 2: Venus you don't know
speaker 1: I mean they're not they're not like giving you any you know requirements or House Rules
speaker 2: yeah
speaker 1: they're just they're just saying that it's like for me for us to get back together
speaker 2: basically Okay so
speaker 1: like I really will need to access your file
speaker 2: servers okay so if
speaker 1: you don't have a password that works you know what I mean if you don't if you can't come up with a password that works for me to be able to do not do that you know what I mean like stuff like that
speaker 2: the passwords don't work I'm not going to be able to help you but do you have anything I can see if I can get it
speaker 1: yeah I mean whatever you would well it could be oh I'm going to spend six hours in my office by myself you know and then I'll give you what you asked for like you can reasonably give me access and let me have access you know what I'm
speaker 2: saying like
speaker 1: like do things in a way that are respectful of my need to know that you're not trying to take advantage of
speaker 2: me absolutely
speaker 1: and I think you know I mean they didn't like they didn't say any of this like thank you you too have to agree on a budget or you have to you know you have to let you into his servers like they don't you know what I mean they just said that you have to be demonstrating a willingness to do what your wife is asking you to
speaker 2: do Thursday think I better call my mom money I'm sorry well she's going to start calling this this here it's not okay but that all sounds good to me okay I think I
speaker 1: think that you should not smoke or drink at their
speaker 2: house looking to be a little bit challenging the smoking again
speaker 1: you're smoking cigarettes now or
speaker 2: cigars cigarette but normally smoking those again in here cuz they pings not allowed so they thing referring came here yeah I mean which is cheaper and
speaker 1: healthier but I know obviously I mean I understand like it's ridiculously hard but like giving birth to a 9 pound baby is also ridiculously
speaker 2: hard okay you know what I mean yes I understand okay thank you for having my
speaker 1: babies I was actually
speaker 2: getting at okay
speaker 1: I'm sorry I feel like I have to spell it out for you I know that you're wanting me to quit I might actually be meeting
speaker 2: that I understand I understand I'm going to be hard for me right
speaker 1: yeah I guess I need like the hardness of something to not be a factor in whether you're able to love me the way I need
speaker 2: you know what I mean I do I don't want to play to you and be like I'm just going to quit smoking instantly yeah I know but there is
speaker 1: like a I don't know is there such thing as a mode of like all-encompassing stubborn determination that people can take on and win something really matters more than anything else okay and I want to matter more than anything else cuz I've spent most of my life demonstrating that you matter to me more than anything else you know I know what that feels like
speaker 2: okay I love you okay I love you talk to you soon very call my mom okay bye-bye