speaker 1:  yeah hello yeah hello hey sorry about
speaker 2: that okay
speaker 1: I shouldn't have said what I said about Jamie I don't know that she heard your mother's end I may have man filled in the gaps on that in my mind because how she was describing your end of the conversations was consistent with what you were telling me at
speaker 2: the time all right no it was
speaker 1: consistent I'm not doing that I'm not you know like wage was trying to convince you to go all out into Warfare
speaker 2: mode yep she was
speaker 1: and and you were trying to say that you didn't want to fight and be you know essentially
speaker 2: yeah and she's still doing it worse than ever
speaker 1: which day and he said pointed to not not so much just your mom you know default mode of assuming that you fight aggressively and don't worry about how it's going to harm somebody you supposedly love but you know Jamie said it pointed more to the fact that your mom has had this problem ever since since she divorced people and went from man-to-man and you judged her for it and acted like she was you know dishonorable and gross for it and then grew up and then grew up and you know have this perfect I'm never going to divorce kind of attitude that made her look bad Jamie said this is kind of your mom ticket to getting you back and not being able to be judged anymore if I make a new just like her
speaker 2: she's still trying that but I'm not yeah we refused or like I said whatever you want right but like if I'm saying what I want is for you to submit to the church leadership that's literally impossible so you can have anything you want that's possible
speaker 1: that's your choice Dustin but when they write you a
speaker 2: letter back in black and white and you transfer letter huh I already did that or even those not all the elders even
speaker 1: the laboratory like if you're if you're telling me now that you're wanting to let me choose the time-sharing schedule then you're not really against their letter if you're telling me right now that your letter that you wanted to
speaker 2: go there
speaker 1: later I know that's dead so let me finish so if you're telling me now that you want to go and do you want to get a full psychological evaluation then you're not against their letter you know if you're telling me that you were Respect by communication boundaries and you're not against their letter like there's not any advice they gave you that was bad advice there's not any
speaker 2: they gave me advice that's again. I never said I was against the letter
speaker 1: okay but when you go to Jackie Hays a Jackie Hays knows very very little about the
speaker 2: even if that's true then they send up sent me that letter that's not I'm saying that they're not not truthful they don't have an obligation to
speaker 1: spend the amount of time that Aaron spent with you every single one of them they don't have the obligation to spend the amount of time with with you every single one of them they do have the right to trust one another they do have the right to trust his judgment and errands judgment that that's something that they have the right to do a m
speaker 2: c a and Aaron are on the same page as far as I can tell it's like man but I don't think that they should be sending a letter when they haven't considered it as Elders that is agree with that nothing in their letters home
speaker 1: nobody said that that's what I'm saying is that you don't need every single one of them to have the full expanse of the hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours that they have to neglect their own spouses and their own children in order to spend time figuring out what's going on with you in order for God and to give
speaker 2: them a reality and it's not doing any
speaker 1: character and the wisdom and the good judgment should know what to put in the letter and in that letter they didn't suck beyond the bounds of what you know is reasonable they didn't
speaker 2: so
speaker 1: if you want some topic that's unrelated to what God has called them to advise you on and give you Unity honest on some unrelated topic that's not following under their jurisdiction right now you're able to get them to say different things that's neither here nor there I'm
speaker 2: not going to be able to follow around it but they can't be on the same page you know one of our elders and probably two don't agree with what we've stayed in that letter Jackie he's practically said that when he gave okay but what what is your
speaker 1: attention right now to fight me on Child Time 2 or 2 okay so
speaker 2: I'm going to give you everything
speaker 1: what was in the letter of God and was prayed over and was taken very seriously
speaker 2: it kind of been taken very seriously when they don't believe
speaker 1: with it very seriously and just because you get Jackie Hays alone in a room and he doesn't know anything about what's going on and get him to say different doesn't mean that what was in the letter is not trustworthy it made it that far
speaker 2: because he doesn't agree with it God gave them the because he doesn't know Dustin he doesn't know but what but he doesn't know they sent has sent the letter in the first place they're not functioning as
speaker 1: Elders that's not true they're functioning very well that's why without Jack in the ones I have to neglect his own family and his own life and his own children they were able to come to a consensus to give you that letter that's functioning is
speaker 2: Elder it didn't come to a consensus
speaker 1: they did just because you got the and got him to say different later doesn't mean that they didn't come to a consensus and deciding that that was the right message to send you and when you stop and think about it it actually was the right message to send you and you didn't actually need to get Jackie Hays alone like you did you chose to do that that was your manipulation on your end it was not oh God it was not of the elders that that occurred that was you but you're telling me right now that you're choosing to reject their counsel and accept your mother's
speaker 2: counsel know nobody said anything like that off your mom wants you to live in one of our rentals no I want to live in one of your rentals she's removing any burden of us doing that by providing the financial support
speaker 1: right but if she's going to give you a $12,000 and you're choosing that's where you wash chicken
speaker 2: instead of just specifically only willing to give it for me to have a place to live which is necessary anyway she's okay so you've got her involved in
speaker 1: in a very interesting way I don't have her
speaker 2: involved at all as he made the offer without me asking
speaker 1: for it but you understand that her mindset is not on getting you to see God's way that her focus is not on getting you
speaker 2: I'm not relying on her for that
speaker 1: to understand that. I know I'm just saying that's not her goal she's not saying okay I'm I've got $12,000 and if I can spend it in a way that helps Dustin to see that God doesn't want him to lean on Thursday and understanding but God wants him to seek first the kingdom of God that's how I'm going to spend the $12,000 that's not what your mom okay okay I need to prove to the court that does that has is the better parent it does didn't have the more stable situation for the children and that Dustin should get more time sharing so that I can get the kids with Dustin as much
speaker 2: everything in our divorce you know
speaker 1: I'm just saying look at how your mom spending her money she's spending her money in a particular way for a particular reason it's
speaker 2: that I have a house to live in honey
speaker 1: she's not motivated to get you to submit to Godliness and be somebody who is Honorable enough and Frugal enough and selfless enough to go and live with the McDonald's for a year while you work to pay off some of the credit card debt that's not her goal but she doesn't care about your godliness she doesn't care about your
speaker 2: decision on her for advice and not
speaker 1: I know but I'm saying that's the reason that you're able to get money from her is because you're pursuing a situation I'm
speaker 2: doing anything she offered
speaker 1: that I know but that is the situation where he want to not submitting to anybody that's a situation where you're isolating yourself from wise counsel at the situation where you're able to look like you're somebody who's financially responsible because you have a nice place to live on Amelia Island off but it's not it's not the reality of how you've spent your money it's not the reality of how you've made your Investments like she's supporting something that doesn't turn off in the direction
speaker 2: I say that you're not going to support me living in whenever houses even though it doesn't cost
speaker 1: us anything I'm saying that it's really hard for me to discern whether you're actually pursuing reconciliation because of the decisions you're making are showing me that you will never ever be willing to do that and so I'm looking at your action now instead of your words and when your words say one thing but your actions say completely different I I have to assume that your actions represent your actual intent and your actual heart and your actual motivation
speaker 2: okay well I haven't seen the house is deemed remain to that but I can't understand it so
speaker 1: because you
speaker 2: are thanks for letting me know that you view it as me and not being able to be married to
speaker 1: you know that you're claiming you're claiming that you want to do with me but you know that I am a y l a expect you to submit to church Authority so that is definitely not something that you're actually willing to ever do I
speaker 2: don't understand this conversation but don't really want to keep having it not understanding it nobody nobody in our church has told me that I can't live in one of our houses when my mother is going to completely cover any financial burden of it and I'm saying is incorrect about me not following
speaker 1: your I'm saying that I'm saying that if you were willing to submit to
speaker 2: accountability you would still be at the McDonald's
speaker 1: I'm
speaker 2: not allowed at the McDonald's so that's because of your interests
speaker 1: that's because of your
speaker 2: irresponsible non-accountable Behavior that's not what I heard but it is they're saying something behind my back that's different from what what did they tell you to hearing it what did they tell you that is not helping us build our relationship so it's pointless and I needed the
speaker 1: face right which is true that you were definitely living at their house while filing false court documents about me to try to manipulate me and harm Z month you were absolutely pursuing your mother's way the whole time you were living under their roof remember how you know it's
speaker 2: possible explanation for you being against me living in one of our
speaker 1: houses when it doesn't cost us any money it would well you're telling me you don't know if she's going
speaker 2: to do it well I can ask her but but you can't say there's no possible explanation you understand that like when you live with the McDonald's argue with you come up with anything
speaker 1: like how much you spend on packages coming from Amazon I can see how much you spend on cigars they can see how much you spend on craft beers they can see how much you spend on clothing like they can see and so there's actual accountability and you have some really really bad addiction problems right now you're going to be able to continue to indulge in in a way that is injury to your children Financial futures and that's a situation that you're choosing
speaker 2: right I'm going to choose to have a place to live and it's what I'm going to
speaker 1: choose right but you're not choosing to be accountable to other people you're choosing to isolate yourself from other people if every way possible knowing I can
speaker 2: literally live in community housing just to work on myself everything you don't agree I don't really want to argue about it right now you're you're at a resort a $600 a day Resort okay
speaker 1: I don't do that kind of thing because as much as it's my deepest fantasy to have some kind of mix-up where I get arrested and have to spend the week in jail like I would actually willingly go off to a resort because my children need me and I do what I have to do for that to be to be there for them all right it's not a big sacrifice
speaker 2: all right I'll see you in a little bit
speaker 1: are you telling me that it's Jackie Hays clarified everything for you then you would be willing to be completely submissive and not do any more of this trying to get people alone to make them answer different questions anymore like you deal with that be willing to follow in the future sir really so it's all about trucks right now
speaker 2: they did you even read the letter they're not consistent on almost any item whatsoever so now it's not just about jacking the problem is they don't take their role as seriously and giving advice to consider them what they're going to say that's not true
speaker 1: because when they put something in a letter that means that that's something that God has placed on their hearts and on the table before them and they've gone to extreme lengths to think Unity on whether that is something that they should put before you
speaker 2: that's communicating via letters
speaker 1: only by himself like you're the one who should maybe not
speaker 2: that because none of the others were trustworthy with my emotional state at that time so you're you're asking a big ask and I will try
speaker 1: it they were not trustworthy what's your emotional state that what you just said
speaker 2: yes I think so
speaker 1: they were know for the with your emotional state know they were not so you're you're you're decided that they were not trustworthy with your emotional state so you should get Jackie by yourself I
speaker 2: mean I think I think there's lots of other people that have that opinion also not trustworthy wage I think a lot of people have had opinion I think there's a lot of people that have the opinion that they're not trustworthy for giving advice about marriage I think there's a lot of people that have you know what people think that they're not functioning
speaker 1: Elders people you're talking
speaker 2: about people I'm talking about have read the unrefuted things that I stated in my letter to
speaker 1: our elders do you know what people you're talking
speaker 2: about I know some of
speaker 1: them.
speaker 2: That was kind of garbled what I didn't know what you said you were talking about your Kentucky and you'll help
speaker 1: the 10 passengers that you refused to give me a list of 420
speaker 2: Lake I didn't refuse to give you a list of past days and yes those two would be
speaker 1: included right you understand that these
speaker 2: are all that Neil housing did tell me to go to Jackie Hays which pre-empted my conversation with him said that he had a high opinion of Jackie Hays out of that group
speaker 1: right so which means that if Jackie Hays comes and tells you that dance behind you should follow everything in the letter and Then
speaker 2: followed everything in the
speaker 1: letter dead Justin Bieber that's my point if you think they advised him a letter is something you should follow then spinning out this whole thing about them not functioning as Elders is sales rep because if they pointed you in the right direction on that then there's no reason to set up a hold or not functioning Story
speaker 2: Goes to their judgment and ability to wage just because I mean is to follow the advice on the letter and I'm not doing it on the basis of the letter I'm doing it out of love for you it's got nothing to do with the letter that was completely invalid because the elders don't actually hold the opinions that they said in the
speaker 1: letter it was completely valid it was of the Holy Spirit but it was able to make it to you that is functioning as elders it was good advice it was badly advised based on the entirety of the situation the Holy Spirit and even Erin Bell does not know that's a supernatural thing that that letter was able to make it through men who only have partial information into your hands and suck actually be good Godly advice that you should follow that that is
speaker 2: functional and you better insist they only send me letters cuz otherwise they're not on the same boat boat if they would like to give advices Elders they should be and you're asking me to follow the advice of our elders which is literally
speaker 1: impossible no I'm not asking you to call them and say should I have Fruit Loops for breakfast or two months and then say that their ungodly men if you get two different answers that's not that's not what I'm saying I'm not saying follow their advice and all that that was a silly there's no reason to have an expectation that for different people are always going to give you the same advice I think it's completely valid for somebody to say you should have a lawyer and somebody said you should not have a lawyer because you know what
speaker 2: that's in the letter so
speaker 1: that would be more than 5,000 it affects me more than anybody and I could go either way off on one given day you can talk to me and I can say yes I mean having an attorney protect you know everybody and it's probably like makes you so that you don't have to fight as much because you have somebody else doing the heavy lifting for you I'd say that's a healthy thing
speaker 2: to change I would give you
speaker 1: everything you can hit say you can hit me up on a different day and talked to me a different way and I could say yeah you really shouldn't be fighting with your wife there's no real reason to have a lawyer you know look at what she prevents you and decide which parts of it you're okay with it which part you're not okay with it I mean that's not like a Biblical thing that people all have to have that exact same opinion about it's just not and that's why it's not in the letter actually the Bible says
speaker 2: that
speaker 1: in
speaker 2: Conflict among Christians we shouldn't have lawyers that's what it says
speaker 1: no it says that it to our church leadership instead of going through the court and you've chosen not to do
speaker 2: that no chose to do that until it was
speaker 1: impossible it doesn't say anything it says that it brings dishonor to the name of Christ for us to be having to go before a worldly justice system and that's true absolutely true but it's the results of you abusing your wife just don't like that
speaker 2: she's the one that's like testing for Mensa I know n
speaker 1: are you still
speaker 2: there
speaker 1: sorry I got to go
speaker 2: bye I'll see you later