speaker 1:  hello hey Dustin how you doing all right
speaker 2: well I'm all right but you staying at my parents isn't going to work they don't think that that would be a good long-term option and I don't think that you'll be able to come back to our house soon and you haven't really gotten an opportunity to to show that yours actually living differently or making any changes so I think that you would be super surprised to see how many really really affordable apartments are in North Jacksonville because they're everywhere and lots of them like 850
speaker 1: move in ready that when we have our pick up and say that again it makes no sense to do that when we have a property that's right down the road from my kids well that's your
speaker 2: sense of entitlement
speaker 1: speaking rational thinking
speaker 2: know you're using the word rational to try to manipulate me
speaker 1: I'm not
speaker 2: well then you don't need to use the word rational but so far you haven't taken any any actions that are any different than what you've always done and no I know that you took some time off of work and I know you got to stay at a really really nice place and that might not be what you most wanted to do but now it's time to make some changes and how you actually live your life which is what Megan was getting at like it's time for rubber meets the road real life to happen this time supported by therapy this time recognizing that your judgment isn't always perfect and that you just directly done a lot of things to really really really harm your family that those things are not your wife's fault and your wife's responsibility they're yours oh also I found out like tons of the apartments you don't even have to sign a 12-month lease 7 is super common so even if it doesn't say that like I would just call and ask for seven months you could try for a six months but I think they'll probably say 7 and it's it's probably a really easy to get like saying there aren't Apartments in Jacksonville is like saying there's not gas stations in Jacksonville they're everywhere and not to mention if your mom's looking to spend as much as she's talking about looking to send like breaking a lease is not that expensive you know it's usually just like a basic basically thousand a
speaker 1: month why wouldn't we have her paid to live in one of our own houses it does that has no lease and keeps me close to my
speaker 2: children you feel a sense of entitlement to that I understand that
speaker 1: when you say if the title man they are houses so I am entitled to them and it doesn't hurt financially so there's no rational reason not to
speaker 2: do it okay that sounds like that's how you feel
speaker 1: that is how I feel but I'm trying to understand why you are saying I can't do
speaker 2: it well I've already told you about my judgment about it I know I know some ultimate ends that your mother desires and I know that her ways of reaching her ends are not always predictable and not always in the best interest of children and I know that there are times when she might share your sense of entitlement and might make decisions about when to pay rent or how to pay rent or how much rent to pay based on what she thinks is happening that's fair to you and obviously once a month or in a house you're in a position of power and control over me and over our properties and over our finances which might be fine in a healthy marriage but we're in a situation where you need to represent to me that you actually recognize that you have abused me by putting yourself in positions of power and control of a properties and our finances and your time and our situations in ways that are really really really harmful to your kids and you're not looking out for your kids best interests you're not you're not caring for them with your money and your
speaker 1: two all right I
speaker 2: know they need to they need to follow
speaker 1: the house that's close to them that's in the
speaker 2: ghetto in the access to them they need you to be
speaker 1: all right they need you to change they don't know what okay. You okay did you need anything else
speaker 2: cuz it no no it's because it's because I love you and it's because I'm really committed to our family you know this can you get me the name of your new therapist for when you check out
speaker 1: no I don't have one yet
speaker 2: oh they haven't even lined it
speaker 1: up it's just a place then now I'm going to go talk to that guy later today and maybe I can get when I don't know
speaker 2: okay so you have you have a you have a place lined up but you don't know which therapist at that place is going to be assigned to
speaker 1: you did I say it correctly yep okay
speaker 2: and then you know obviously like I want you to you know be able to afford your rent and I want you to
speaker 1: you
speaker 2: know figure out how to pay for it and if your mom's really willing to like spend money on rent and it's because she cares about helping us out financially and you get a place to live while you work through this stuff and then she certainly could pay your rent if she's only wanting to pay your rent if it's for one of our properties then
speaker 1: I
speaker 2: think that is good information for you to know because it will help you to see what her actual motivations are I've been keep in mind like you don't ever have to worry about being homeless you've got plenty of options
speaker 1: talking about what we don't but
speaker 2: well I mean set free that's not going to cost you
speaker 1: anything not a candidate that's not true regardless you'd rather what not going to set for you by the Sea okay but you're definitely a
speaker 2: Santa I would be yes you are you are definitely a candidate would be very open to having you there do you have somewhere to sleep you'd have I'm just saying you can't play the I'm going to be homeless card there's no reason for you to be
speaker 1: homeless I'm not going to go to set free by the sea I own three houses
speaker 2: okay I'm not saying that you're going there I know but the fact that you own those houses like doesn't mean that you're entitled to do what you've been doing to your children you're running up I mean
speaker 1: okay I got to go thank you all right all right I
speaker 2: love you and I'm not trying to be fraud you out of anything you're entitled to Thursday I want you to have a true sense of your own responsibilities and an opportunity to actually show me that you've changed oh I was going to say though like you you need to bear in mind that if you are working towards living with me again then you're going we're going to give like we're going to have to let the finances be in a bank account that you can't access
speaker 1: and
speaker 2: if you're needing something you're going to have to ask me for
speaker 1: it that's not going to work okay it
speaker 2: sounds like what you're wanting to do is divorce them and we should go ahead and well if you're wanting to go
speaker 1: back together and I got to have food I have to buy gas for my truck I'm the one that's working and doing everything so it's not going to work
speaker 2: I know like wage you're going to have to get your gas money something
speaker 1: I
speaker 2: don't I mean it's not going to work for you to keep spending money that we don't have it's it's not been working it's not been working for a long time you need some actual functional accountability for you to stop abusing your family and I'm not talking about anything extreme I'm just talking about like basic Common Sense based on our circumstances
speaker 1: I have to go find a house to live in have to go all right bye-bye