speaker 1: 
speaker 2: hello hey honey Hi how are you good thanks for sending a check oh you're welcome did you talk to
speaker 1: Megan no no I didn't
speaker 2: she told me she talked to you but she was on the inclined to talk about medicine cuz that's really her roll here okay but she also said that she knows that Free By the Sea and she's definitely not in Subaru of me doing anything remotely like that okay what was your thinking but I need stability and not an added she thinks that I just need to get back into a normal routine as much as possible but she also thinks that I should be working C had pretty much said the same thing okay did you think I should go back to our church okay
speaker 1: did did you mention the abuse to them though no I mean and that's what it's confounding
speaker 2: like I don't know how to mention the I mean I tell them that you say that I'm abusing you
speaker 1: yeah but do you like just tell it like a narrative where you just tell like wage what you did and what you said not telling them what my perception or my uh opinions or my reading of it was or how I'm labeling it but if you just like just tell them the word you said and what you
speaker 2: did I do that as much that's good as I can do yeah I do that
speaker 1: and you say to them like I stopped my wife down a hallway to evade the communication boundaries that she set up after telling me many times that she was fearful of my present job and used a harsh tone to try to make her ashamed of having a man over in our kitchen and the licensed clinical social worker who happened to hear from the next room was fearful for her safety based on the tone that I used like is that how you tell it or do you say she says that I'm being sorry
speaker 2: but I told them about when we were at the log house and I forgot about the church but I was not trying to make you fearful and I wouldn't do that to
speaker 1: you right is that what you said to them I wasn't trying to make her feel full and I would never speak to you or did you say she said to me she said to me that you were you need to stop blaming and shaming and manipulating and if you want to talk about the children's education we can do that if the next words out of your mouth are trying to make me ashamed then I'm going to have to ask you to leave because this is upsetting the children and the next words out of your mouth where wage I know but the next words out of your mouth were
speaker 2: it's
speaker 1: not about that it's about you need to be able to talk to me in order for us to co-parent you have no right to enroll them in school without consulting me and I said that's not actually talking about the children's education that's trying to make me feel guilty about what I did I'm going to have to ask you to leave and you said well under father in school without consulting any and I said I would like you to leave now and I'm going to ask Kevin to back me up on that and then when you went and talked with Kevin on the porch and Brianna asked you to leave you look at Kevin and you said I thought this is your property to man and then I messaged you
speaker 2: that represent that I wasn't welcome there and I was weird pain and I were talking
speaker 1: I know but she's a female and she was uncomfortable than a normal man want know you turned the cabin and you said I was of the opinion this is your property to man
speaker 2: you are bad but we were engaged in a conversation that he was engaging in with me it wasn't not
speaker 1: welcome I know but he wasn't he's a male you don't need to feel fearful of you he's male the females on the premises were fearful and a normal thing for a chivalrous man to watch protect females from you were not in protect female probably not a chivalry mode
speaker 2: when you asked me to leave and I left when she asked me to
speaker 1: leave that's not truthful that's not truthful you did not ask when I am not leave when I asked you
speaker 2: to leave yes I did that's why I know that's not their property on the porch with Kevin
speaker 1: no no when I asked you to leave you stood there and you again told me that you have the right and I should have no right and I shouldn't have after I asked you to leave
speaker 2: about the school you're talking about enrolling our kids in school without telling
speaker 1: me I know but I'm talking about different you've been there you've been there for forty-five minutes saying the same thing over and over Dustin and I told you that I was happy to talk to you about the children's education now that we have a third party but if you were only going to continue trying to shame and blame me I'm not trying to say in French sign in when Simon was emotionally upset that adults were not caring for him but instead we're speaking this harsh tone towards one another like I'm just saying it's not like you showed up and you said that and I said leave and you left it's like burned and warned and warned that people were uncomfortable after demeanor no it's not
speaker 2: and there needs to be a forum honestly, I can voice my opinion about what happens with their kids and it should be an advance of making the decision that's all I was saying and it wasn't working
speaker 1: on the fact that that you were already engaging in these types of aggressive manipulative shame shifting blaming behaviors that are ugly and scary for women and every man who sees it sees that it is scary for a woman to be spoken to that way every woman who sees it sees that it's scary to be spoken to that way and if you saw another man speak with another woman that way you would notice that it was aggressive with with the tone of voice that you do with the entitlement that you do with the Judgment that you do with the money that you do it's it's it's very very very belittling and it's a very scary and so if you don't give it the full context of hey this has been going on since 11th grade and it's really dark and it's really ugly and it's really been effective for me and getting my wife to let me do some things that are really destructive to our family without any accountability
speaker 2: and
speaker 1: when she asked me to leave I still stood there a certain my right to have a forum to have a decisions about my children better major come by me before they just do it without my knowledge or consent like after that came here
speaker 2: to have and I asked you or made those things asked me to leave and I did leave I did this
speaker 1: is not used it there and you did it again and it wasn't until I said I'm going to ask Kevin to back me up on this that you left
speaker 2: okay
speaker 1: and it was the same thing with Brianna Brianna asked you to leave and you didn't care you had every right to be there regardless of how I was
speaker 2: asked me to leave the front porch on them because we're getting in the return and then talking to me
speaker 1: you turn to Kevin and you said I was at the impression this was your property to
speaker 2: man great and you said no and I left but he
speaker 1: was appalled that you wouldn't respect his wife on her own being uncomfortable with your behavior and she was appalled that you would not affect on your own the fact that she was uncomfortable with your behavior it's that's objectively appalling and you've done that to me for years and you've gotten really comfortable doing it I'm just saying that what you're paying for them is a really really innocent man who's really being loving and really being reasonable and has a reasonable concern that any better Highway 6 so much about his children
speaker 2: about them that they needed ignoring me and I just don't know what else to do honey in bed have to listen to their advice about not losing my mind and they need me to have
speaker 1: stability but do you understand that what
speaker 2: does continuing to work on myself and
speaker 1: you understand that right now you're defending some pathological behavior that you did at Kevin and Waffle House that's a sin probably
speaker 2: actually a lot of stuff and I don't think that the professional psychologists that I have hired things bath I'm I don't think that they think that I'm aggressive I don't think that they think that presenting it. Don't think that you're not presenting any of
speaker 1: that you're not presenting you're telling me right now with your wife actually my house you left and you're telling me right now that when we need to ask you to leave the law house us those are two lies two consecutive lives that represent that you are the pillar of mail respect for females when a woman asks me to leave even though I have every right to the best father in the world and took care about my children and shouldn't have decisions made without my consent irregardless of my complete entitlement to presence and shaming my wife as soon as she spoke the words I immediately left because I'm so respectable
speaker 2: like the only reason I was
speaker 1: there left when I asked you and then you just told
speaker 2: you the
speaker 1: other people but the two lines in a row you left when I asked you to leave lie you left when Brianna asked you to leave by those are two big huge lies that cover up the fact that you were behaving aggressively and it was
speaker 2: scary I'm very very sorry that
speaker 1: but how are you going to get better if you're telling people different stories
speaker 2: I am going to continue to go to therapy I'm going to continue to represent you as my wife somebody that I care about whose opinion means more to me than anybody else on the
speaker 1: planet what about he's way more objective than I am his way more experience than I am more than I am it's not the person who's been abused by you I'm just saying like
speaker 2: I am being advised that we should not interact with I should not at least interact with that church anymore which is sad to me off but
speaker 1: it is because what that does is it stops you from having to deal with your guilt over sin that's what you
speaker 2: have to have lots of guilt over sins that I have done to you and I've expressed to you and
speaker 1: I know you've got lots of behaviors that you're pretending or what emotionally wounded me you want to pretend that you're sorry that you neglected me so you you don't want to take
speaker 2: me as that we certainly do need counseling and that it would be extremely harmful to not see a license therapist and that we need to consider doing that if we're going to work
speaker 1: together but we don't have a marital problems Dustin
speaker 2: I mean it's either marital problems or it's not but they they're amassing
speaker 1: communication problem I want to control control me I'm her phone on our part of it but reality is you lose your wife and if if somebody tells you that you want to deny it but there's nothing wrong with the truth that other people have told you off there's there's no reason there's no reason to deny that you blame shifted and you denied and you lied in front of people's faces off there's no reason to say that it's their fault that you're feeling grief I don't right now it's not their fault that you're feeling grief over your
speaker 2: sin it's
speaker 1: not their fault they didn't do anything they said it's
speaker 2: anybody's fault that I feel grief over
speaker 1: sin don't think that then why would you I'm just saying like literally name one thing that Aaron has ever pointed out and you that he was wrong
speaker 2: about you can't join anything out never win anything else you
speaker 1: just told a lie and pulled another me
speaker 2: that I should quit my job and then I shouldn't speak to Julie and I should have listened and
speaker 1: okay so the very first advice he gave you he was right about and he didn't follow it but then an elaborate scheme of cover-ups followed and that elaborate scheme of cover-ups included something really creepy stuff that he hadn't seen before
speaker 2: I'm
speaker 1: just saying you're admitting that the first thing he told you was right I know I'm just saying if there was anything Aaron said that was off base then this would all make sense but when it's literally an egg know like you can't name
speaker 2: one. Just because he
speaker 1: didn't you can't I
speaker 2: got a I've got to go to class right now I mean but he's spoken a lot of generalities without being able to provide any example
speaker 1: that's not true true that's not true that's not true he was so specific showed up in his office and he said we know that you're not going to quit your job and it's amazing that you have a wife who's willing to work through this with you even though you're still working very closely with the woman who you cheated on her with here's what I want you to do with this week Thursday I want you at some point in the next 7 days to sit down and brainstorm ways that okay you're leaving your house at what 6 a.m. brainstorm ways that you could leave your job 4:30 p.m. and that would get you down to fifty hour work week and you said I'm not doing that okay like you wanting to say that he would work the second. Instead
speaker 2: of and the second week assign okay
speaker 1: you didn't do what I asked you to do you're not even think about ways
speaker 2: up right now cuz I have to go to a gym class but a okay but
speaker 1: saying that your advice bettering generality about him that's not true it's not true it is a generality about Aaron and it's not true about home but what he did for you was give you some really concrete steps that were every single one of them completely spot-on without
speaker 2: exception I'm sorry I got to get going but I continue to get Counseling and as much as you can help me with it I will be very grateful I'm going to have to make some decisions about where I live and I have to make them in forums based on but people are saying is going to keep me going and doing it all out of my best idea of how to be good for you
speaker 1: well and you going to have to let go of the delusion that are in Spokane generalities
speaker 2: you're going
speaker 1: to have to let go of the delusion that he was ever off base about something because the behavior that you took in the church hallway is the behavior that I've been experiencing behind closed doors for fifteen years and that anniversary letter you wrote to me were you come up with all these cute things to be sorry about like not respecting my domestic abilities like that's a system ISM for I knocked you to the ground and bruised
speaker 2: you don't recall ever doing that quite honestly it happened
speaker 1: it happened like there's there's no way that you're blocking out all the physical violence that
speaker 2: happened
speaker 1: there's no way that you could possibly block out all the physical violence particularly at South 18th Street and particularly at Stanley Drive
speaker 2: it was so common to me when I literally have to go and I have honestly have no idea what you're talking about but
speaker 1: it was so routine for us that I can't even like tell you all the situation but literally dozens of times that you wrestled me down on a bed and got in my face and told me I was crazy or out of line
speaker 2: or I don't I can't I can't get into that with you cuz I don't recall it and I'd have to go or I'm going to be in trouble here I'm already late June okay I love you very much I'm sorry that we are in this place I got to go there I'm sorry all right bye-bye