speaker 1:  hello Hey Mami how are you
speaker 2: good how are you
speaker 1: hang on their good that's good what's that I said good good what unless you what and this oh
speaker 2: I might I might be able to help you have some options for what you're going to do next
speaker 1: week you're welcome
speaker 2: she needs to tell me
speaker 1: something we're here
speaker 2: I said did you need to tell me
speaker 1: something I don't know I can most talking about having to think in today too
speaker 2: did she say why
speaker 1: because I'm suicidal and they think that me willing to do whatever you want to do disapprove that I'm
speaker 2: that you're what
speaker 1: this I know yeah or likely to be the final if I do it sorry
speaker 2: obligated to tell your mom that
speaker 1: right and you say
speaker 2: like if you need something from your mom I think she's made it pretty clear like she'll you know what I mean provide for you or get you a plane I can't tell her that can you repeat that
speaker 1: I'm not going to tell her okay okay I don't know if I should see here though why is that I don't know what I guess sorry can you repeat that I said lie
speaker 2: do I think you should leave
speaker 1: yeah well
speaker 2: why did you just stay why did you just say that you don't think you should
speaker 1: stay I remember saying that that's
speaker 2: what I thought you just said I'm sorry what did you
speaker 1: just say do you think I should
speaker 2: know before that the previous thing that you said before that I thought you said what I thought that I heard I don't think I should stay here
speaker 1: about
speaker 2: and I said why is that you said you know what
speaker 1: I think I thought I was asking you if I should stay here know previous to that I don't know I don't remember that okay I'm sorry
speaker 2: I'm sorry I didn't understand
speaker 1: have you go ahead were you thinking about me going
speaker 2: I'm not sure yet have you have you had any fights while you were there with other people
speaker 1: besides me what oh okay I'm sorry I didn't get your results back from doctor I
speaker 2: know that was important to you
speaker 1: left me a message this morning saying it would be the end of this week or early next week okay they even talk to you no
speaker 2: I still wasn't able to open all the files from your servers you sent me a couple of passwords for your computers did they have like a log in to go with
speaker 1: them only pastors they have it's two passwords what yes
speaker 2: he's feel like you understand yourself better
speaker 1: like
speaker 2: without getting the report from dr. crap like you can kind of verbalize it yet
speaker 1: done a lot of fertilizing to you all right more confident I haven't understand what I feel more and more confident that I understand what happened what do you mean Nissan understanding of I why you what
speaker 2: unable to connect to somebody else why you what I've lost you I can't hear you I don't have to
speaker 1: hello it's
speaker 2: me all right what were you saying
speaker 1: and I think I have a about why
speaker 2: I was so much why you what
speaker 1: and you
speaker 2: I can't really hear you I got all right sorry you said you have a good idea of why you work so much and
speaker 1: stuff it's a match and neglected you and I and
speaker 2: why you what
speaker 1: with so much
speaker 2: your audio is cutting out hello are you there
speaker 1: oh hey it's within here I went to d
speaker 2: r I think you said that you feel like you have a better understanding of mine who works so much and
speaker 1: neglected me why was why was easy for me to connect with Julie why it wasn't easy for me to let go
speaker 2: of that right but none of those things are like you make me look really icky and really pathetic when you imagine a world where I would leave you over were you imagine a world where I would leave you over any of
speaker 1: those things that's like a you
speaker 2: know what I mean that's just so far like miles beneath me
speaker 1: I don't understand but
speaker 2: I'm saying like if you walk around two people going I neglected my wife so bad I worked all the time I had an emotional affair
speaker 1: I
speaker 2: wouldn't let go of my emotional affair and now my wife is divorcing me
speaker 1: like
speaker 2: I would feel really bad for you because that's a really Unfaithful wife she's clearly pretty emotionally weak and pretty pathetic and needy and seeking whatever's best for herself in this world
speaker 1: like it's hard
speaker 2: and all the things that you're all the things that you're naming that you did are like normal things that lots of men go through and lots of families go through
speaker 1: and not you know what I
speaker 2: mean not that far off
speaker 1: but I mean in
speaker 2: fact that's kind of the extent of your understanding of this
speaker 1: point okay so okay I
speaker 2: was just asking what's your schedule for the rest of the day
speaker 1: it's a great day at 4 okay okay 6:30 you got a what got to go to group at 4 and then right after that I just got a tiny amount of time to get dinner before classes 6:30 okay basically busy until tonight okay
speaker 2: and you didn't did you see Ted
speaker 1: today not for therapy but you runs my group at 4 but doesn't really good very deep into stuff okay kind of need to figure out if I should stay here you still thing though because what I need to alert them and then my mom to pay if I'm going to stay here okay cuz I'm leaving your on Saturday and I I see that if I leave and I think I'm not safe and they're going to take me to the hospital and will be stuck in there. You know is how long for how much money okay
speaker 2: why did you say that you wouldn't call
speaker 1: Kevin I don't want to talk to anybody okay I mean that's
speaker 2: that's dangerous you realize
speaker 1: right I think it would be more dangerous for me to talk together than to not talk together why do you think that cousins Kevin doesn't he doesn't care about me and don't need to talk to
speaker 2: him but like not talking to him is what lets you imagine but he doesn't care about you
speaker 1: know I try to talk to him and disregarded me for an extended period of time and then Thursday it's not who I need to be engaging with not mad at him it's just not going to help me people here think that I can't go to that church yeah I don't know what the last time yeah best they can yeah
speaker 2: I mean yeah if Kevin doesn't care about you then obviously you shouldn't talk to him or be friends with him or go to a church with him but if Kevin loves you and cares about you like then you should not live in denial you know what I mean you're you choosing false beliefs about yourself and you're choosing false beliefs about
speaker 1: other people and it's all kind of a cover-up really just relying on people that have been trying to figure out my psychological state yeah
speaker 2: but I just wonder how people can like a difference
speaker 1: between sorry go ahead every time they try and tell me like you as an example that you're doing something wrong or bad I always push back and I say that you're the most trustworthy person that I've ever met Thursday I believe you yeah
speaker 2: and is that like in terms of anything about Kevin but running like for me is that like in terms of like thinking about me wanting you to think there's something wrong with you when really what you need to hear is
speaker 1: that I'm not manipulative or lying I'm not like that right which would make me the gas
speaker 2: lighter I always tell them that I believe you right without that makes you look like a victim of gaslighting and it makes me look like a very very cunning
speaker 1: manipulator I pulled off and I think I have to clarify I think he said that he understood where I was coming from after he talked to you
speaker 2: a lot of time to talk
speaker 1: to you I think he's really hoping to get my results back from the doctor and that's not going to happen unless I stay and yeah
speaker 2: you understand what I'm saying though about the role
speaker 1: reversal and I understand what you're saying
speaker 2: and that's always going to be like it's always going to be the case with people who don't know like the full details of everything you've done which I know I'm just saying like the people who like only met you recently or don't know
speaker 1: are
speaker 2: you're always going to appear to them as the victim of a manipulative wife I don't think that I'm saying that I know I'm just saying that means that they can't I know I'm just saying that somebody who is is thinking that way about you and trying to help you psychologically wage isn't actually able to because they don't have a way to distinguish between
speaker 1: hey
speaker 2: buddy. Yeah I'm sitting in the front yard and he came out win sitting in the front yard and he came out with nothing but a shirt is the cutest thing ever like that baby when you walk oh okay we need to put all this in on place for Monday okay not outside well she's a place that won't work
speaker 1: that right all right
speaker 2: what did he say
speaker 1: I need a
speaker 2: no cuz I heard him
speaker 1: telling you when I hear something happen
speaker 2: looking for you Tuesday Thursday
speaker 1: all right.
speaker 2: I'm going to wash my hands because I'm the one who
speaker 1: I'm back but you did
speaker 2: yes I was on the toilet today when he it's always on the toilet with him I was on the today when he came in and said Mom can I do a painting and I said yes and I said yes and he drove off I mean I mean like a picture can I paint you ask me that and mommy said yes I think I can I paint wage I go and mommy said yes and he goes you know I'm just doing it for an advertisement can I pay and Mommy said yes can I paint and mommy said yes ma'am
speaker 1: an advertisement off oh man my kids are I it I really don't know what to believe but the people here say that they have worked with a lot flat white a very dysfunctional manipulative people and that they're extremely skilled at figuring out who doing it they don't believe that I'm like that anyway yeah
speaker 2: let me let me take a bath and I haven't seen manipulative well within ten minutes she had named like five different manipulative things that he sees in you and I'm just like you don't call that manipulation and he's like no I work with drug addicts you know really manipulative people
speaker 1: and like okay
speaker 2: so it's whatever he's not overtly trying to con you up $1,000 but you clearly see how he's you know telling you what he wants you to know and not telling you what he doesn't want you to know so he's got evidently a different word for it you know yeah
speaker 1: I wish you could talk to Megan yeah I mean I'm sure she would say the same thing but he's just very God focused and very why is and helping me yeah and she's smart and she I don't know I know she thinks the same thing off so anyways I I send it out against the allow me and I you what sins against you a lot yeah and they don't know it's just psychological access to pin it on I think that I just
speaker 2: well it's just the sins that you're moving on like like so time for me because you're naming things that typical women have a problem with because their self-esteem is so low and they're things that I don't have a problem with because I don't rely on you for my self-esteem and so they look very normal if you if you try to tell people that that's something you did against me a defended me but if I had a problem with any of those things we wouldn't have made it a year we wouldn't have made it through 10th grade you know but the things that like the things that you do like yesterday when you were trying to convince
speaker 1: me that
speaker 2: confronting me in the church
speaker 1: hallway was like
speaker 2: my fault for having a man over or you're right because you're my husband or not threatening because you didn't say you were going to hit me with a baseball bat or North like all of those. Hold just long laundry list of techniques that you have to twist a situation around to keep you from having to say
speaker 1: I
speaker 2: shouldn't have done that is my whole life and I don't feel like that's the Crux of what you tell people that you've done wrong to your wife I don't feel like you're saying you know what I mean in high school I threatened her that if she didn't tell her mom that she thought about having sex with Vincent and I was going to tell her mother like I don't feel like it's off her that I don't feel like it's convincing everybody at the church that we're such a team that it's really are and who's wanting you to live away from a family and work elsewhere
speaker 1: I
speaker 2: don't feel like say that again don't feel like like even in your letter on our anniversary you made an issue out of me being the one who's dead completely on your team with your work situation and that is really like like a low by that like that's a low blow of taking advantage of the fact that you have a seriously serious like a submissive wife like a very passive very supportive to the point of
speaker 1: don't understand what you're saying you're on my
speaker 2: team yeah you you've tried to make out that you have no responsibility for the fact that you chose to sleep away from us when you are flipping houses because I would your partner in that decision you make it out like like I did as much brainwork on
speaker 1: that. Listen everything that happens in our family is my responsibility and I said I know
speaker 2: but I'm saying the way you're speaking right now doesn't allow doesn't allow people to understand what's going on with you psychologically it makes it all seem very normal oh he worked too much Choice she's a sensitive pathetic woman like under sensitive pathetic women we know and she got offended that he didn't spend enough time with her we can see that it was probably her love language to have quality time and now she's out to punish him by trying to convince him that he's crazy you're speaking in a way that's not similar to how you always spoken and you need to accept that you definitely twist things around on me and and what I'm saying is like we got to see that on a really high level of twisting things around on me and making things be my fault the last six months I don't things like that was your fault I think that it was my fault I know but right now you're not like admitting to the fact that you've twisted so many things around on me our whole marriage so if you see it now he's repented that's great but I don't know how you're repenting if you won't admit that it happened for Seventeen years
speaker 1: straight
speaker 2: you're you're actually pretending it didn't happen now that you're not doing it anymore all of a sudden which makes me look like a gaslighter and you're making me look like I made it all up never do these things that I'm making up but we have witnesses and the witnesses you're saying that you need to isolate yourself from not I'm not saying that they're saying right here and right but that's because you're not because they don't know what you actually did they think that you've elected me and spent too much time away from me and having emotional affair they don't know that you actually were the one gaslighting me for years you don't they don't know cuz you
speaker 1: think that I don't have that letter in front of me right now I'm sorry I guess no
speaker 2: it's not just the letter it's not really want to argue about it cuz yeah I know I'm just telling you that that from where they sit in a completely reasonable on their part to think that the rules are reversed and and I told Brianna that the day you checked in was like he is going to present as the victim because he's going to sound like he's so submissive to me he's going to make it look like I'm trying to make him think he's
speaker 1: crazy
speaker 2: which is what you've actually done to me for years you've actually asked me to accept the idea that I'm emotionally unstable when I cry you've actually asked me to own all of the things you've been doing as if they're me doing them know if you've wanted to tell me that I argue for the sake of arguing
speaker 1: yes I hope that you some healing out of need differing to you what my decision to defer to you cuz you bought some
speaker 2: healing I'm not broken Dustin that's that's when you say that I need healing when you say that I need healing you're doing it you're flipping that you're broken and I am I know but you're projecting on to me that I need healing no it's a relationship needs
speaker 1: healing no no
speaker 2: no no no no no your relationship with Kevin your relationship with Kevin neat feeling sick I'm a Target victim
speaker 1: sorry okay need to figure out if I'm staying here another week they're trying to figure out if they're going to Baker Act me and I if I choose to engage with cures that will at least influence their decision
speaker 2: all right do you do you know Megan's extension hey I'm sorry can you
speaker 1: hold, can you hold yes
speaker 2: all right I'm back
speaker 1: actually don't know her extension sorry I think if you call up here and ask her again the psychologist or psychiatrist would be able to come back okay and they want doctor Megan yeah okay trying to see if I have her email okay. Yep must be Megan Davis which is M Davis Honey Lake Clinic okay oh maybe that's the first number do you have her number she might be mad at me for giving it to you but I'm going to do it okay
speaker 2: 850-724-1955 hold on hold on hold on start over
speaker 1: 5:07 to 4 one nine nine seven one
speaker 2: nine nine
speaker 1: seven extension
speaker 2: 23117 and we need the extension things
speaker 1: 3117 South I don't know if it'd be better email her since she's not expecting you to call
speaker 2: her okay but you feel like it's obviously her
speaker 1: decision but to talk on the phone
speaker 2: know like to discharge or
speaker 1: well I'm sure it's a collaboration between her and said okay I mean I don't know I did not ask your permission to give you their numbers so I asked I told her today I wish that he would talk and it's just kind of blew me off so okay
speaker 2: I mean you see the behaviors I'm talking about like I've been able to point them out over the last two weeks you can see it
speaker 1: right I see what you're talking about with
speaker 2: like like when I say you're emotionally punishment punishing me see that and when I say you're changing the subject you see that I say you're Shifting the blame you
speaker 1: see. I'm sorry honey sometimes I see it yeah okay I'll let
speaker 2: you know yesterday for the end of today is really warm today is very warm I don't know if you have that choice I'll get one stock you get the other money today's very warm here so the Wasps are getting started so
speaker 1: let's getting started yep yep yep yep yep
speaker 2: oh you got it sorry
speaker 1: I got to get going
speaker 2: okay
speaker 1: have you
speaker 2: all right I love you you know what I'm talking
speaker 1: about right yeah okay sometimes I see it okay I'm working on seeing it for you okay bye I love you bye