speaker 1: 
speaker 2: hey oh hi how's it going good we have the game last night went into overtime
speaker 1: yeah
speaker 2: so we were up extra late and everybody was cranky this morning
speaker 1: oh no
speaker 2: so we're running a little late I think we might not be there till 12:45 is that okay yeah ironically I think Simon will probably be home because he's so tired he is able to nap in the car or mornings oh cool yeah whereas the rest of us you know all right how are you doing
speaker 1: oh I'm hanging in there yeah my mom called and said that she would like to pay the rent on one of our houses so that I can live there
speaker 2: you're not going to over back for that no well if you talk in
speaker 1: that way if things work out between us we can just rent it out again and I won't be in a lease and we're not losing money on
speaker 2: the house right but I I raised the rent so now well technically Goldsmith can't be kicked out because he's still on Ali and now the people upstairs are paying $1,400 and now the people at South eight people playing 1100 so you know if your mom is looking at essentially gifting what are you even saying something like over $15,000 right in a year
speaker 1: yeah I don't know how long she'll do it but she obviously wasn't aware of the rent increases and he didn't tell me
speaker 2: either I just go back to Baseline and say the rent was what it was you know to you know go back to 1300 or nine hundred it wouldn't really make sense for her to be offering to pay it to get you in there and then all of a sudden stopped two months later so as the baseball since she was planning to do that for one year you're you're talking in the realm of like $12,000 as a gift right yes so it's your decision that that's really the best use of it you know what I mean like if you stop objectively and say okay if my mom gave me literally $12,000 cash right now and my goal in life is to do absolutely nothing but love and serve my family at all costs that is the best way to do that really to have a separate household
speaker 1: because like I need somewhere to live
speaker 2: right right loving and serving your family at all car you already know that that definitely definitely comes with the price tag submitting 2 a.m. accountability with our church leadership
speaker 1: I'm not sure about that silver that's not something it's too hard because it is definitely a non-negotiable for me well decided that doesn't mean that we agree on everything okay you can't separate issue your boundaries a separate issue from my Pursuits and intentions
speaker 2: no because once you know what the answer is yes can't imagine you can't imagine that you're going to get me to change my boundary and that's the best
speaker 1: thing about your boundary I'm really suck my attention but its
speaker 2: boundaries say is that I don't ever live with the house in a house with you unless you completely submitted yourself to the authority of church leadership then you've decided that is definitely not going to do that so that's not actually something you're pursuing within reality you can only pretend that you're pursuing that within a fantasy world where that's
speaker 1: not pretending that I'm pursuing that that's literally impossible I tried to pursue it
speaker 2: earlier but you can you set an exact you could have done exactly what they said in the letter I already did everything would have been fine I know but you're pretending that you're pretending that they
speaker 1: exactly what they said in the letter and the elders in our church leadership literally advised me against doing what's in the letter so I called you
speaker 2: right now and you said just then you came over to my house you prevented me it was a whole bunch of partial truths I didn't know the whole story but now that I know the whole story I am
speaker 1: getting presented many partial truths yeah there's plenty of stuff you know no way you can say that he knows everything that you've ever done there's no way so if you said I think my mother's
speaker 2: offer is reasonable intend on taking it what you need to keep in mind. I'll try I'm
speaker 1: not pretending you're you're pretending I can't change what's in your head I know but your
speaker 2: imagining that you're pursuing getting back together and I'm saying within the boundaries that I've sat that's not what you're doing that's
speaker 1: got nothing to do with me and it's got to do with you it has to do with you because if you are saying oh errands boundaries are not something that I'm willing to live with it and you're not pursuing your The
speaker 2: Impossible but you're not pursuing that and you're not pursuing that you're pursuing something completely different which is a life apart from me because you don't want to be with me you just want to be able to a woman who doesn't have the boundaries and that's a different person that's not me but it is true I I absolutely have that boundary I
speaker 1: presume that since you modify the leases with out my permission or knowledge that I have that same
speaker 2: right no idea but I'm just saying that I think at this point you're definitely not pursuing reconciliation and I think you know your fault I think you need to take that into account when you make your
speaker 1: long-term decision because what your mom can take that into account because it's off no that's added to the account because it's false
speaker 2: well if what you're pursuing is getting me to change my boundaries when you already know that's not going to happen then you're deluding yourself there's there's nobody else here actually believes they
speaker 1: don't have any control over you
speaker 2: exactly exactly so you know that what I am is not something that's going to change you know that what I am is not something that you can change you know what I am and me
speaker 1: being literally impossible so I'm not going to comply with it it is just not it's just not actually no because logically apparent to anyone when I said to you that it's literally impossible wage and
speaker 2: still true. There's plenty of people who think that you could choose to submit yourself to the church leadership including the church leadership and I'm what I'm saying is if Jeff is called you on the phone now instead Dustin it was a little bit manipulative how you came to be separately from everybody else and utilized what I said to try to say that we had decision or that we weren't Worthy yeah you know heating Our advice but the truth is I absolutely believe that you should follow everything that we put in that letter and I apologize for anything I
speaker 1: can do to do that that would be extremely interesting I would I would enjoy that
speaker 2: conversation off so then you would basically be willing to submit to their leadership and be committed to not changing that and be committed to not trying to divide them or get different answers from them separate thoughts on things they haven't talked about yet never done
speaker 1: that you would change your position I've I have changed my position based on them having different positions but I did not manipulate all of them right they actually positions are literally impossible to change based on his interpretation of scripture he's going to change that that's going to be extremely extremely
speaker 2: interesting they have different positions on whether you're abused wife had a Biblical basis for divorce when not all of them knew what abuses you committed or what the
speaker 1: exact have Jackie Hays doesn't have an opinion that allows for an abused wife to have a Biblical basis for divorce under any circumstances that's not a note that although that's still debatable it's not something anybody is debating if it's on the cable box doesn't have a
speaker 2: basis to say that you can't see this position has already explained it to me what's on the table is stop abusing your wife Dustin that's what's on the table you're being so silly Pig I
speaker 1: did talk about whether you're abuse watch a divorce you or not when people just asking you to stop abusing your wife but I mean since he's also asking me
speaker 2: Jackie Hays does that silly Jackie Hays knows you know if you don't use your wife as it's it's a non question
speaker 1: that's why it's a non question for that solution is so simple it should be a question for somebody that has a
speaker 2: church member that that's
speaker 1: actively engaging in a divorce with a person or it's not I'm not engaged and thinking about that it's not locking their level of taking the role as an elder seriously though they are because there's the role of the Elder is to tell you to stop sneezing your wife it's not it's not the actually
speaker 2: it's the actual
speaker 1: I mean I understand what you're saying that's why that's why they're not functional Elder understand what you're saying but if you could get them to call me and change its position that would be extremely enlightening and interesting marriage that means they're not taking their role of Elder seriously because that was their job all the time
speaker 2: not that you were
speaker 1: particularly germane to me that it is too mean to me if he thinks that you should take my children and a divorce case that would be probably more applicable
speaker 2: so that you could have an ace-in-the-hole of thing but they're not taking their role of Elder
speaker 1: seriously if they don't say that you're doing that church is doing the church hoping that they would take their rulers Elder seriously and
speaker 2: give me counsel like wow I'll have to stay in an abusive marriage with you that's that that's what being an elder is really about is making sure that women stay in abusive marriages and making sure that men can claim Christianity so I mean they have to make their
speaker 1: life that even remotely resembles that but I would like I would like them to interpret the Bible and be consistent opinions that don't change they did changes you can get them to change of opinion call me I will find that conversation extremely
speaker 2: enlightening he doesn't need to have an opinion about whether I have a Biblical today his opinion is that you should
speaker 1: not abuse your wife that's not nobody's debating that but so do you at all I'm getting is that what you're asking me to do yes they are
speaker 2: stop being manipulative what you're doing you're right now stop being dishonest what you're doing right now
speaker 1: that's not true
speaker 2: Aaron it's true it's true that they're asking you to do
speaker 1: actually not asking me to do that but it it is substance because I already agree with you about that but on their position but not on the same page know you can get back to change his opinion that would be significantly different than his interpretation of scripture that we already had at that will be extremely enlightening
speaker 2: that's not going to happen they're never going to do that they're going to continue to hold up extremely enlightening they're going to continue to hold you I'm. And would you behave honorably towards your family that's what's going to happen because you're claiming that you're a Christian so I'm saying if you do that thing with your mom you need to understand that your mom does not have a goal of restoring us unto
speaker 1: godliness okay I understand that
speaker 2: I think that well Jamie said that
speaker 1: Jamie said that she she has nothing to do with this know but that she heard even your mom's a month of the conversations you were having on the phone with her when your mom found out that you were getting divorced
speaker 2: and it sounded
speaker 1: like I don't know how she did that but that's a little bit ridiculous yeah obviously my mother is ridiculous and has been their whole life and that is not confusing to me