speaker 1: 
speaker 2: yeah I think various people then okay but if we want one local there they can find this one they you know recommend or something I'm going to try and have them set something up I don't know about that well if we want to I got to know while I'm here I think about it I guess
speaker 1: yeah I mean I'm guessing probably
speaker 2: no well they're very adamant about not using a church for a marriage counseling
speaker 1: well we don't I'm saying I don't think we need marriage counseling at all but also also we weren't getting marriage counseling at our church so
speaker 2: okay
speaker 1: did you tell them that we were getting marriage counseling at our church yes okay you probably need to think about everybody you've said that too and go back and have them but that's not the case
speaker 2: okay
speaker 1: because that's an example of you manipulating and distorting events to make yourself look like a victim do not understand that what do you mean don't understand that I mean if you go to your pastor for marital counseling and you pretend that instead of helping you he convinces your wife to divorce you that's one thing but if your team of Elders comes to you to confront you with a long and habitual pattern of sin and to offer you support and learning not to abuse your wife anymore and you adamantly refused to make any reasonable changes to your behavior and you escalate to emotionally abusing your wife in front of them that's you know what I mean that's like a very very very very and not even similar but very different scenario then the picture that you pay when you say that you went to your pastor for marital counseling
speaker 2: you know what I mean not really but I will tell them
speaker 1: that because we weren't going to our pastor for help with our marriage because we weren't really having a marriage problem and so that's that's also my thinking with like lining up your Aftercare is if we're going to be whatever you know paying for you know therapy sessions for you and therapy sessions for us as a couple and therapy sessions for me then it would make more sense for that to Thursday will be with your you know what I mean person who's helping you with your problematic behaviors cuz that's who would be the most helpful for me to learn from
speaker 2: okay
speaker 1: can you think of who all you said that too so that you can fix
speaker 2: it I think it's just bad okay so that's no know if I can fix it but pretty
speaker 1: fundamental pretty fundamental to him being able to help you you're claiming you want him to be able to help
speaker 2: you yeah okay how you doing my name oh
speaker 1: wow okay bye
speaker 2: and IBM bye