speaker 1: 
speaker 2: hey hey I think my phone is having I'm sorry
speaker 1: I'm going to have so many emails in my inbox from
speaker 2: that I
speaker 1: think I get like four months
speaker 2: I think it's two for every call cuz there's two lengths does it cost but I could probably fix that eventually
speaker 1: anyways I think that each one of those was like two calls cuz I'm calling you at same time you're calling
speaker 2: me and we both are both looked
speaker 1: over to the other all right
speaker 2: hurt my feelings like you said that it's easier to have cancer without me what hurt my feelings that you said it's easier. Don't me really dead understand that
speaker 1: I mean would you say that is consistent with how you think about it
speaker 2: I don't know I haven't really thought about that sorry
speaker 1: you haven't like thought about what it my do you like to carry the burden of living with someone who is abusive towards you
speaker 2: for fifteen years yes I have thought about that
speaker 1: and have that how that might like compared to the burden of having cancer
speaker 2: surgery I guess I don't really know what that surgery going to be
speaker 1: like I mean I'm not have to agree but trust me it's nothing
speaker 2: what did you say
speaker 1: like it's a nothing it's it's literally like not a big deal
speaker 2: okay well that's good
speaker 1: no. That's by way of comparison like for you to kind of like be able to think about the enormity
speaker 2: of
speaker 1: difficulty of living as a victim of domestic abuse I have a I have a high threshold is what I'm saying
speaker 2: okay any news on Georgia what any news on Georgia I don't know what you
speaker 1: know I think she I think she's on an antibiotic right now and she's check she's checked in at Tampa you know this already though right
speaker 2: you just told me that they had surgery that it was
speaker 1: yeah but like I also don't know like what she's put on faith as much as you know what I mean like I don't know or you didn't even look at
speaker 2: Facebook's I don't get on Facebook very much
speaker 1: okay that's what I meant I wasn't sure what I know you know what I mean cuz I know stuff that she hasn't put on Facebook I don't know what I told you in leasing office they sent the you know the actual infection to pathology maybe they'll get cultures there a few days that will confirm that she's on the right antibiotic and tell them to do something more targeted and then she need they need to take out the hardware that they installed during her spinal surgery but they can't because that's the only thing holding her together so they have to wait until her own bulbs have like heels from the surgery to the point of fusing themselves together so that they can take out the artificial Hardware from her spine because my plan or is that what
speaker 2: that was the original plan if I have to take it out cuz of the
speaker 1: the infected oh I don't know if it would I don't think they were going to have to take it out I think they have to pick it out just took
speaker 2: action oh man I got to put it down
speaker 1: I don't know but yeah it's that's the problem is that it's all housing infection the whole the whole surgical
speaker 2: area oh my gosh
speaker 1: yeah yeah it's pretty bad
speaker 2: I can't imagine having that many surgeries did yeah did the doctor cop ever
speaker 1: call you Doctor Who crap no no his his phone system must be down all week or
speaker 2: something no that was the other doctor yeah they told me it was going to call you Joe do you get it sounds go down do that yeah
speaker 1: I can't understand you sound terrible
speaker 2: I said phone systems don't go down do that I
speaker 1: can't understand you found out
speaker 2: garbled I said phone systems don't go down do they I
speaker 1: how would one know I don't know what
speaker 2: experience I
speaker 1: can't understand you found out garbled
speaker 2: yeah I think my connection is not very good here I'm
speaker 1: sorry I think it's whatever speaker you
speaker 2: using not on this on my phone but I think it has to go over Wi-Fi so that he hasn't called you when he told me wanted to well
speaker 1: maybe this week's crossword puzzle is particularly challenging
speaker 2: honey in to finish his report so you can send it to my therapist here what I want him to finish his report so you can send it to my therapist here yeah did you tell them that long no money yes I did wrong are you in the kids going to come visit me this weekend yes definitely yeah
speaker 1: for you
speaker 2: yeah let's definitely
speaker 1: okay have you been learning or talking at all about your capacity for
speaker 2: empathy no I can bring that up with Ted what I mean I guess I have talked about it and that I guess I talked about in the context of our relationship feeling like I didn't have it
speaker 1: well I was just thinking about like well I mean you're saying you think that I'm imagining that but you really have like amazing empathy for me
speaker 2: no
speaker 1: okay you were telling him that you actually
speaker 2: don't yeah what yes oh okay but I think I phrased it more like well I don't remember a little something that sounded more like I really couldn't dealers close to you or something that's what
speaker 1: yeah well I mean there's I don't think it I don't think it's about feeling close at all I think that was when you were like started started saying that whole thing when I got back from God about us not being connected and it made no sense with you know what I mean there's no
speaker 2: but I've never understood like you said that cuz I felt like you said that for years but I have issues with my mom
speaker 1: and yeah but it's not an intimacy problem you have problems with like not trusting me and thinking that you need to fight me and thinking that I'm going to ruin your life and thinking that I'm you know what I mean like the same that's not for another couple of talk about assistance in their relationship they're not fighting each other they don't care enough to fight each other off and ignoring one another not worried about how the other person feels about them because they don't feel much for the other person like there's no we have no contact with that whatsoever level of intensity and passion that we have going
speaker 2: consistently okay I will bring that to him
speaker 1: it's interesting that one of your strategies for deflecting when you were abusing me and it was point it out to you that you were abusing me or it was pointed out to me that that is what normal for any man cannot stop crying and just want to do it more and everybody has the right to do it you would pull an arrow that you were a very empathetic person as up inside your empathy for other people do you have anything for me just fine that you in the damage
speaker 2: to me this is me what
speaker 1: you're the one who's doing the damage to me if you if you feel like a another person you know outside of our marriage is hurting you're going to feel compassion for them you know if I walk in the door I am sad and I say that somebody hurt my feelings you're going to feel compassion for me yes actively doing something that is actively destructive and selfish and unkind and when you see the natural effects of that they don't move you at all you feel completely justified in whatever you did you convince yourself that you're justified in wherever you did because it off and you won't I
speaker 2: hope so I said I'll bring that up with him I think so the password for his birthday
speaker 1: compartmentalization
speaker 2: that you can just turn off and you're fighting okay
speaker 1: is that consistent with your
speaker 2: experience I can yeah I understand what you're getting at
speaker 1: well
speaker 2: yes I can understand what you're getting at I think part of the problem is that don't always understand why you're
speaker 1: hurt I'm saying if somebody else is doing the same thing to me and you will watch him as a third-party you would have no trouble Mobility the shut that off what you want and you're right I see it at all
speaker 2: I will explore that with him
speaker 1: I'm not talking about that.
speaker 2: No I know he's
speaker 1: going to go to bed
speaker 2: no selfish I mean yeah. I get it Saint talk about it with Ted you can help me process this on that the word that you well kind of something like you're talking through a team can right now okay so can you say it again
speaker 1: no compar compartmentalization
speaker 2: okay
speaker 1: which isn't just you understand you've done that like you've done that like selfishness like you can be really really crazy insanely off the chart selfish and when somebody mentions that you're being selfish said of thinking about the actual action that you're doing and how it serves you and how it doesn't take other people's needs into consideration that you point the finger at oh no I'm not a selfish person in every other area of my life nobody would say that I'm selfish that that's not an accurate wage for me but you can take like a single area when you're trying to get what you want and justify those actions and be really selfish just in that one micro area because it serves your purpose compartmentalization which I think is a unique thing I think you know what I mean a lot of
speaker 2: I
speaker 1: think in like emotionally and socially healthy people tend to experience like a consistency personality and a consistency of values and a consistency of like how they deal with people claw different situations and different relationships and
speaker 2: different scenarios and what kind of people
speaker 1: emotionally healthy people
speaker 2: you know
speaker 1: people who are well like they you know they might have a tendency toward selfishness but it's going to be kind of like a about the same amount of selfishness a different scenarios but when you have like this major like off the chart highly selfish and then they'd really off the charts like not at all selfish you know what I mean just kind of all over the place depending on what it is you're trying to do I get I think that there is an instability
speaker 2: thank you for sharing what's that I'm not mad at
speaker 1: you I know but what I just said yeah usually when you say thanks for sharing if you are mad
speaker 2: at me
speaker 1: I wasn't all right so considering that accuse me of or finding her messages about her taking a picture anyway. Don't want it on the visitation off
speaker 2: that's not super clear to me considering the insanity that's much better right much better thank you oh
speaker 1: considering all the craziness that was going on when I took the LSAT and the fact that I was thinking about it like the whole time and couldn't focus on the test at all I got a crazy good
speaker 2: score oh yeah
speaker 1: yeah I mean considering my actual aptitude terrible but in the context of what was happening my aptitude like I should be able to you
speaker 2: know
speaker 1: I should be technically it's like based on my actual brain I should be able to get a 170 but with all that was going on I would have expected like a
speaker 2: 1:40 yeah
speaker 1: yeah I got a
speaker 2: 159 cool yeah yeah but you're not going to apply to law school what but you decided not to apply to law school
speaker 1: well that's what I've been thinking this weekend just cuz I'm having trouble trouble figuring out how to you know really care for the kids and that that's a good
speaker 2: decision yeah
speaker 1: cuz I mean a lot of people are looking at it a lot of people would look at and they would go well look at you you want to you know divorce your husband and be a single mom you gotta work anyway so your kids are going to public school like it did not get over it Gainesville has amazing school so you know like that would be so many people's way of looking at it
speaker 2: but
speaker 1: trying to actually wrap my head around the fact that even if my kids are okay going to public school for three years I don't know that with 100% certainty at the beginning of it to be able to make that commitment that I'm not going to need to pull one of them out for whatever reason two years in you know what I mean you just can't box yourself in that way when it comes to Children's development I don't think
speaker 2: thanks for to high yeah I want us to be a family again yeah yeah I'm proud of you and you're all set thanks thanks it's fine that's good
speaker 1: your mother is not fun
speaker 2: oh gosh I know you should see what I'm dealing with today oh no what happened well I decided to stay and she asked me to write the administration a letter about my therapy which my mom was totally on board for it like a dog he thinks it was kind of ridiculous so I wrote a like super polite note just explaining what some of the problems were I sent in a lady and she responded back thank you for your note I perform the CEO and The Clinical Director about some of your concerns we'd like to offer you free free days and like five minutes later my mom said this very long caustic note basically asking for more I kind of go back and read it when she sent like a follow-up though it's saying oh I was typing my note as you sent yours I'm so sorry that we got confused but I'd still like more free stuff but I'm pretty sure in the first note she alluded to the to the response when I got so that seems bogus evens out but anyways so now I'm like Stuck in the Middle yeah
speaker 1: that's interesting to Ted thinks that you weren't getting good therapy for your first two weeks
speaker 2: I mean I'm honestly having to read into it cuz the only hard to say that's something that seems like that then you know just stop and stuff but I do get that Impressions yeah cuz you don't say something like well I I don't know I don't like to talk about other people but you know like stopped himself and say let me think of the politically correct thing to say if you want to stay longer you got to talk to so-and-so and if you want to complain about it that's the person that talked to you and yeah yeah pretty affirming yeah I felt like it needed to be said regardless of if they gave me any, because right
speaker 1: right the cat will the caliber of what people are paying for right that's not a hard thing to deliver
speaker 2: at home yeah I'm going to get going Mommy it's time for a chapel oh or something all right
speaker 1: no I mean I guess if you're doing stuff like that for your mom
speaker 2: I don't know how to handle her honestly did I ever tell you about catching a still having a relationship with yeah it was
speaker 1: weird though cuz when you told me it sounded like you had been hypnotized in the fact that she was coming to terms with the fact that she had had an emotional affair and it sounded like you were like emphasizing with her because you were in literally in the same boat as her on that same
speaker 2: day I mean I don't think that she had an emotional
speaker 1: hair yeah but that's how you were talking like it was like you it was like you she had been having conversations about it she was able to bring it in a much more palatable
speaker 2: like no no no wage you know what I mean do you think I don't know it's hard to tell with her but see after tonight and it's supposedly shut down Alabama store stuff so that's on triggers you might be taking actions to take it seriously it makes it so gross actually try to get Jeff to buy a bed and breakfast thing or you have to buy what Airbnb property they're they're looking at
speaker 1: that yeah I just don't know what the deal is
speaker 2: obviously I don't know either I don't know if it doesn't know I think you don't know cuz she acted
speaker 1: like so you think that he was being genuine on that phone call when you told him and that somehow after that she's been able to just carry on carry on carry on with him being a
speaker 2: loop I don't know he's got to have some he had to have some knowledge of it I feel like that's what I
speaker 1: mean that's what I mean so you don't know what kind of stuff she let them do
speaker 2: he could be snowball now though but I see there's no way to know yes
speaker 1: regardless it's also dark and so evil and so dysfunctional and so dishonest and so manipulative and so since you know what I mean
speaker 2: the only thing I don't I don't she was obviously stressed out about my issue is I don't know if that could have had some impact on her taking her life when she being hopeful that maybe that's
speaker 1: true yeah but I mean you one thing on it yeah you know what I mean like how she was after her sister died or how she was after you you know called her out on it the other time or how she was you know when she I don't know and she spent so many times it seems like it seems like it like a tactic like if you feeling like you're feeling right now like oh Mom
speaker 2: yeah I don't know I I never Bank on it anymore with her yeah yeah well another thing they sprung on me, nice and texted me wanting the kids to be ring bearer and flower girl at her wedding and Mexico next year oh wow yeah actually just haven't said anything about it cuz like gosh afford do that text okay I'll so she's pregnant again yeah yeah
speaker 1: so it's it's next so it'll be after she's got she's got her own
speaker 2: baby I think so yeah
speaker 1: taking her baby to Mexico
speaker 2: right for when yeah sounds TV no I mean if that's the plan yeah
speaker 1: and I don't think they're that far from Mexico right yeah they're not Mom said she fly
speaker 2: me I presume she's five of us what I yeah they're not fire in mom said that she would fly me and I think she
speaker 1: probably will find all of us if we want
speaker 2: to go well did you want to process through some more of what moms doing to you right now cuz I really do gotta go what did you need to process through any more of what my mom is doing to you right now cuz I really do gotta go I can't
speaker 1: understand your work
speaker 2: did you need to talk about my mom's actions toward you right now cuz I really need to go
speaker 1: soon no I mean I don't know if you figured it out but obviously what your mom did on the day before Christmas to me was clearly I
speaker 2: remember
speaker 1: she called me to ask if I was willing to talk about like kicking somebody out of my car rental and I told and I told her that no actually there's a whole whole long list of reasons that I'm not comfortable talking about that directly and she did about I would say seven or eight repetitions of going oh hi I understand that oh of course that's completely understandable but I was just thinking that it would be like good to you know not have to go through the attorneys and you know after each repetition I told her very calmly I can give you my attorney's phone number off but that's not something that is safe for me to be communicating directly about and then she started escalating it by telling me that I was being irrational and completely unreasonable and there was clearly something wrong with me that Aunt that and I said listen you know as well as you know anybody from your own experiences when a woman has been victimized by a man she shouldn't be you know obligated to continue to subject herself to and she goes I don't I don't believe that for a minute it doesn't victimized you come on how has helped them and and I said this is unreasonable you know that I told you I shouldn't be talking to him to him directly and she didn't say you should talk to him directly when did I say you should talk to him directly now you're twisting my words listen to you dead person and then then I started my voice started to shake and I said this is not okay I shouldn't she goes. Yourself oh my goodness do you hear yourself oh Karen you need some help you know like was just going all out when she had faked at the beginning of it that she was like kindly and courteously asking my permission to broach the
speaker 2: subject
speaker 1: and then and then she told me I was lying if they get all in that I could tell other people whatever I wanted to tell other people about our phone conversations but she and I were both always throw the truth and then when we got off text message lying about it like saying that she didn't know why I had to get so emotional because all she was doing was simply asking if I would be able to talk about Dustin's living situations but clearly I have something going on emotionally that represents me from being able to be rational about this topic and you know like making it sound like she hopes that I get some help and then you know saying how like how much she loves me and it was interesting horrifically dishonest and horrifically manipulatives and and I could tell that like she is very much felt like she had accomplished her objective of making me cry and you know she was just
speaker 2: had a little if she wanted to make you cry let me right now I'm telling you right now that you are being manipulative right now
speaker 1: you want the gas into thinking that somebody was doing it unspeakable evil had my best interest at heart and that it was because of something on my end that I cried and I don't Reserve that from her and I don't Reserve that from
speaker 2: you okay honey well I'm
speaker 1: sorry that she called you at all like that on to talk to if it's not about me it's about as an opportunity to convince people that there's something wrong with me and that I'm a liar and then I'm not to be trusted and that's something that she said to your father that's something that she did to your burn off something that she did but that's something that you've seen her do a lot of people try to stop them as liars and try to pass them as I'm stable so she was actually out to do what she said she was out to you and she's just like have a conversation about the rental then she wouldn't have felt the need to lie about it after the fact perfect said that her text said I never suggested that you talked directly deducted and and I never suggested that you talk directly to me about it either you made all of that up no sense you know what I mean if you actually heard a conversation you would know that she recognized off the battery by demanding that I talked directly to you or her about something that I had every every reasonable right to them not comfortable talking directly to you or her about a month at any reasonable person would say that it was wrong to try to push me to do that and giving her my down three times in a row, and I'm almost done with
speaker 2: it attached right after the back I'm sorry Mommy but I truly got to go right now I'm sorry I mean what do you need to be able to what they are though yes I do I understand that's not a salesperson at all say that again the community where I understand what you mean I got to go I'm sorry
speaker 1: okay bye
speaker 2: love you bye bye